When it's Hot, Folks Get Crazy...With Search Terms
Since it's so hot here--it's 88 degrees and nearly midnight--folks here in LA have an excuse to not be all there upstairs with their search terms. But what's everyone else's problem? Check out these bizarre searches that led folks here:
1. a stranger came up and talked to me angel in disguise: Didn't your mother ever tell you not to talk to strangers? If she didn't, maybe you should've listened to Rick Springfield.
2. made rain in the hood: Yes, those robbers that threw cash in South LA certainly did. We had one brush fire on the Westside of LA today so I'd gladly pay a dollar or two if it would start raining real rain--how's that for a phrase?--right now.
3. how to tell if your middle schooler is doing alright: Pfft. When you find out the answer to this, holler at a sista because wow, my eldest has had a rocky transition to sixth grade.
4. beyonce curly hair, beyonce real hair, beyonce light skinned: I get it, y'all like Beyonce. And you're obsessed with her hair and her skin tone. My fave? beyonce fake teeth. Just so awesome.
5. how to press a woman's breast in bus: Um, that's called sexual assault. Also, I hope she's searching for "how to knock someone's teeth in on the bus."
6. how skinny can a fat person get: You can get pretty skinny. In fact, you can get SO skinny that you'll die. How's that sound?
7. do martin gore's teeth work? I assume the man eats, which would mean his teeth definitely work.
8. boyfriend hates my short bob: He's supposed to say that he loves the person you are inside not your haircut. If he didn't do that, tell him it's over. Seriously. Don't waste your time, and don't rationalize it by telling yourself, "He's just being honest."
9. end times wedding banquet: Wait, so people are having wedding receptions now with an end of the world theme?
10. nude sunbathing with neck brace: But if you're wearing the neck brace, you're not fully nude, right? And won't you get burned from the brace heating up in the sun?
And now I'm going to go sit in front of the air conditioner and weep over my soon-to-be-arriving-in-the-mail electricity bill. Toodles!
Photo via Wikimedia Commons