Thursday Thirteen: Dumb Things I've Heard About My Hair Lately

After work today I picked up my sons and we went to go to Trader Joe's for a few things. Next thing you know, the lady in line ahead of us started complimenting me, Mr. T and Mr. O on our hair. Because, you know, we have such interesting, charismatic, BIG hair. "You're a whole family with such DIFFERENT hair!"

The experience got me thinking about all the dumb things people have said to me in the past month about my hair. So, since it's Thursday, here are the

Top 13 Dumb Things Folks Have
Said To Me This Month About My Hair:

1) I bet your hair gets dusty in the summer. It sure does, especially after I finish rubbing my head all over the coffee table.

2) It looks just like one of those big furry Russian hats. You guessed it! I bought this hair during my secret trip to Moscow three years ago...but shh, don't tell!

3) So your mom's hair isn't like that and neither is your dad's? Well where did YOUR hair come from then? Well, gee...I've heard aliens came on a spaceship and stapled it to my head, but that COULD be a rumor.

4) Does your man like it all nappy like that? I don't think he has a say in it, especially since it's not on his head.

5) I bet you could hide a pencil up in that hair! Yeah, a pencil, and a small switchblade. You better watch yourself.

6) Wow, with such big hair have you ever thought about shaving your head? No, because my name is NOT Britney Spears.

7) Yeah, you definitely DON'T have good hair. Thank you for clearing that up for me. I was worried for a second that you were gonna say I have bad hair. Hey, wait, if I don't have good hair...

8) Do you curl it with a curling iron to make it look like that? Since I just told you I've only used heat on my hair once in the past three years, the answer is no.

9) I really want to touch your hair. What does it feel like? A softer version of steel wool? What the flying @#^() are you talking about?

10) How much did your hair cost? Uh, um, you mean how much do the products I use on it cost?

11) No, how much did it cost to get your weave put in? Oh, hahaha. It's not a weave.

12) Oh, it's a lacefront? Um, no. It's my hair. See? (pulls hair and exposes scalp)

13) Wow, girl, don't pull your weave all hard like that! But it's not a weave!

Yeah, what can I say? I'm a magnet for hair insanity. I guess I should be grateful I didn't have to bust out my #DoNotPetMyAfro hashtag!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun!


b. said…
That so made my day! Hilarious!!!! I especially like the one about the switchblade. People have a lot of gall.
BlackLiterature said…
Hey! Glad to have you back!
Nerd Girl said…
Pure hilarity! One of my coworkers reached up and just grabbed my hair the other day. Apparently she'd "been wanting to do that for a while and finally worked up the nerve." Um yeah, about that...
Jameil said…
LOL! No. 13 is the best ever!! Oh that is hilarious!
Toni Campbell said…
Of course my favorite is "Does your man like your hair all nappy like that?" LOL! How I would have loved to say, "Nope, but YOUR man does..."
baiskeli said…
Lol! Hilarious. Also, just stay away from Justin Bieber. I wish Esperanza Spalding had slapped him (hard!).

I love this image

Don't ask to touch my hair

But yeah, there are some stupid disrespectful (dare I say racist) people with no manners and no respect for boundaries.
Lisa Blah Blah said…
WHY must people try and touch our hair?? It's such a personal thing. It would never occur to me to just go up and touch someone's hair (except my husband or my kids).

At least you keep your sense of humor about it!
lejarie said…
Love this! Love this! I am 38 years and went natural 5 years ago after I fainted on the hair salon floor due to the heat of the hot comb!(*0*)/
nick said…
Well, as Einstein said, two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. As I've said before, I just love your hair! Even if it's stapled to your head....
1969 said…
My favorite?

Yeah, a pencil, and a small switchblade.
Liz Dwyer said…
Yes, they sure do! They will ask all sorts of strange questions/say all sorts of inappropriate things!

Black Literature,
I'm glad to be back. I was just so busy and at the end of the day, totally exhausted & not able to write.

Nerd Girl,
Good lord...see, that's a nerve that would've been better off NOT being worked!

Totally the best ever. I was so confused!

See, if ONLY I'd had you in my head, I would've thought of that! SUCH a good comeback!

Wait, what did the Bieber do to Esperanza Spalding? Did he touch her hair? Ugh.

I try to keep a sense of humor. Otherwise, I'd be walking around mad all the time. It's SUCH a personal thing. I never want to touch anybody's hair.

You fainted due to the heat!!! Wow! I used to think I was gonna pass out under the hair dryer. Wow. Good for you for five years! ;)

LOL, stapled on hair is totally the BEST!

Yeah, my afro keeps it academic AND real. ;)
Janell said…
Thanks for the laugh. Some people really have no concept of boundaries. Oh and also tact.... and lots of other things too. I love your sense of humor!
Baiskeli said…
Wait, what did the Bieber do to Esperanza Spalding? Did he touch her hair? Ugh.
Yes, there was a post on about it.

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