Lunch

I know, I know...I promised I was going to give an update on last Thursday's Black Faces in High Places luncheon, and here it is Sunday and I'm just now getting to posting. Not that I haven't been thinking about lots of things I've wanted to write about. I have. Truly. But I've been so busy thinking about it all...life, love and the pursuit of happiness, (or more like the lack of pursuit) that I haven't actually written one single word.

Here, in no particular order, are the things I'm thinking about: (insert drum roll!)

1. I need to get tickets to the Depeche Mode show in Las Vegas.
   
   
   This should prove to be quite a feat since they aren't playing in LA, and this means competing with everyone from SoCal, Arizona and Nevada for tickets. They are playing Coachella but I don't think that should count as being local since it is 135 miles away. In traffic, that's four hours each way in the car. I'd go but I can't take festivals like that. By the way, I'm adoring DM's video to "Suffer Well." Nicely done. I love Marty as a bride.
   
   
2. I'm glad the Olympics are over. I could not take another news story about how Team USA sucks because they didn't win gold every single time. Hello? Calling all insular Olympic watchers! Aren't there something like 200+ countries at the Olympics? It sure felt that way during the parade of nations on opening night. Can't some other countries get a chance? We should be celebrating the fact that people the world over know how to whup a$$ at the Giant Slalom instead of hyping up Bode Miller's ability to get trashed on and off the slopes.
   
   
3. My mom hasn't spoken to me since I came back home from my brother's funeral. Don't be too alarmed or think her not speaking to me is highly unusual. Believe me, it's not. This happens fairly frequently. The thing that reflects negatively on me is that I have a hard time telling people who ask me in a very well meaning way, "So how's your mom doing?" that I truly can only guess how she's doing based on what I've heard from other relatives. Telling someone that my mom probably believes she is punishing me for something, or is taking her anger out on me by not speaking to me is just awkward and weird. Which is why I'm writing about it here, right?
   
   
4. Olinga asks more thoughtful questions about God than anyone I know in LA. We adults, we think we know everything there is to know about God, faith and religion. We stop asking questions. Olinga wants to know why, if he's prayed to God and has asked for God's help, does Toussaint still keep taking his Batman toys?
   
   
5. Tomorrow will be four weeks of no coffee or chai. I have more restful sleep and I'm more alert during the day. However, I'm not doing so great on not eating anything that comes out of a bag or a box.
   
   
6. Self Challenge 2006. Do you want to do this with me? You know you do! Come get fit and healthy (or at least healthier) with me. I think I'm also going to start doing yoga because my friend Jenny tells me I need to relax. I think she's right. Either relax or take anger management classes.
   
   
7. I yelled at Olinga twice today. Oh, I worry that I will turn into the kind of mother I swore I'd never be.
   
   
8. One week on Myspace and I have 13 friends. Does this mean that I'm popular or not? This website would have us all believing it's the quantity of friends that counts. We all know that's not true. Right?
   
   
9. At the Black Faces in High Places luncheon, it was strictly the Ebony/Jet crowd. Still, I realized Us Magazine really is onto something with their feature, "Stars! They're just like us!" Here are a few observations:
   
   A) Tina and Mathew Knowles do not look happily married. She had on a very tight outfit, and could stand to make very good friends with a trainer. It sounds mean, I know, but I do feel that if you have oodles of cash and don't have to do 9-5 (or 8-6) then you really have no excuse to not be in fabulous shape, even if you are pushing 50. During the lunch, she spent a great deal of time grimacing into her plate and blotting her very red lipstick. When they came to the front to accept their award, he did all the talking and she just looked a bit sour while he made jokes about how she'd tell him later that he talked too much. For a former hairdresser, she sure was bashful.
   
   B) Ananda Lewis must be a fantastic actress. She's coming to 100.3 having done Teen Summit, and having been a star on MTV. She is now a sidekick to the talentless John Salley. Ananda does a great job portraying her personality as being very energetic and playful. And you'd really believe she and John are BFFs if you'd been at this luncheon. But I wonder if she goes to work everyday and thinks about the fact that she's more qualified for the head job than a has-been NBA player. I wonder if she screams in her car when she sees the billboards and thinks they should be reading, "The Ananda Lewis Block Party" instead. Well, you'd never know it from their peaches and cream interactions. All frivolous, playful banter. I felt like I was watching a stage show instead of a couple of mcs for a luncheon. All of you who think your boss is underqualified and/or incompetent, perhaps we should all take a page from Ananda's playbook. Get ready to earn the office Oscar or Golden Globe for your performance.
   
   
   C) The Regent Beverly Wilshire does serve fried chicken, greens, and sweet potatoes... Not to mention the mac and cheese and cornbread! Yes, the hotel that Richard Gere's character in Pretty Woman brought the prostitute with a heart of gold to, does have soul food on the menu. Or at least they serve it during Black History Month to a primarily Black audience. The kitchen staff probably called up a local Kentucky Friend Chicken and placed an order for 1000 pieces of extra crispy. Now, if I'd paid $5,000 for a table at this luncheon, I'd really have been hot. As it was, I was thankful they didn't bust out a watermelon sorbet.
   
   
   D) Macy Gray is really tall in real life and her momma looks just like her. Well, maybe her moms didn't have the pink and brown plaid suit on. They were cool though.
   
   E) Jagged Edge came dressed in their thugged out hip-hop gear. Guys, get a life and a stylist. Please. Pretty please.
   
   F) Chaka Khan received an award for her foundation. She sang two songs, including "Ain't Nobody". She sounded fantastic and got so into it that she lost an earring in the process. Her energy was so positive. I was loving it.
   
   G) Ladies and Gentleman, Introducing: Token Blackness. I wondered for two weeks if I would have been asked to go to this luncheon by our boss if I wasn't Black. I started to wonder if this here yellow mixed girl was Black enough to hang at a luncheon such as this. What if I gave a disappointing performance and my Blackness stock price dropped? I felt like a part of a Dave Chappelle skit. I mean, I know all the words to Chaka's song. I recognize Jagged Edge. I go up and snap a picture with Tony Muhammad and tell him I've been to Mosque Maryam . I know that Tina Knowles' clothing line is House of Dereon, named after her mom who was a Creole seamstress. At times, I wanted to yell out, "Did I pass the Black test?" Oops, I probably won't get 100%. After all, I turned down the soul food for a veggie plate. Sorry!
   

Enough. Enough taxing my mind and soul with my words and thoughts that are so...acid.

Black Face

Today I get to be Black. I get to represent Blackness. I'm going to this luncheon for work today called Black Faces in High Places. I'll probably be contemplating what it means to be Black where I work more than anything else.

It's supposed to be one of those events where everyone honors the Black folks in Los Angeles who are making a difference...and they do it in high places...instead of the low places? I'm curious to see what constitutes a high place.

I'll be sure to give an update later tonight.


100.3 The Beat LA - The People's Station. Don't Get It Twisted!

Does Car Insurance Cover This?

It must be so nice to be able to:

1) Race your Ferrari along PCH
2) Crash your Ferrari...oops, I mean, slice your Ferrari in half.
3) Walk away grateful that the airbags deployed.


Million-Dollar Ferrari Crashes in Malibu - Los Angeles Times

Educational Equity? Who Are We Kidding?

Elarryo finally picked the Friday edition of the L.A. Times off our front porch today and began to exclaim over the article detailing how Martin Ludlow may be going down for alledgedly using union money illegally in his political campaign. Eight inches from this story was this headline:

"Tuition Hits $25,000 at Elite Schools."

After typing that headline out in this space, I need to take yet another moment to sit back and digest the fact that kids at Gompers Middle School in Watts are supposedly on a level playing field with kids at a school where you're paying that much for tuition. And given that the dollar amount doesn't include the various fees and expenses that kids at, for example, The Marlborough School are going to have to cough up, these parents are clearly believing that spending a good $30K a year is going to make their children have better lives.

The article noted the fact that tuition at Harvard this year is $28K. USC is $30K this year. Are we supposed to feel bad for the parents in the Times' article who self-righteously proclaim how they have to make sacrifices so their kids can go to private school?

"But we have quit the country club, we drive older cars and don't take the vacation unless it has something to do with the children's education. We don't have a nanny; we gave that up. It's daunting."

Oh wow! Poor lady. Giving up the nanny! Such shocking sacrifice!!!

There's a HUGE part of me that screams out that these parents are spending all this money so they don't have to expose their children to the poor Black and Latino masses. I think about what a better school places like Gompers -- or even Dayton Heights where Olinga is -- would be if the schools knew parents that have power were to be reckoned with. The attitude at so many schools is not one of excellence because excellence is not expected of those kids. Marlborough or Harvard-Westlake parents are expecting that their kids are going to go on to elite private colleges and then take their place as a part of the ruling class of this nation. Schools in most of Los Angeles are not run with the expectation that those children are going to do anything other than grow up to be prison inmates, gardeners, and employees at the valet stand.

I'm not hating on Marlborough because I've been there many many times. I just want that for all children...and I don't think it should cost $25K to get it.

Look, World! We Do More Than Run!

Shani Davis wins gold at speedskating!

He joins Vonetta Flowers in the camp of African-American folks who have won some gold at the Winter Olympics.

Remember, Vonetta won for the bobsled four years ago. Not only was she the first Black woman to win that event, since it was the first time that event had been open to women, she was also one of the first women to win it.

Now we KNOW Shani is gonna be on the cover of Ebony and Jet! He certainly deserves it...Congratulations to this brotha from the Chi!

Davis walks his talk with gold in 1,000 meters - Speedskating,
short track - MSNBC.com

Caffeine Fix

Almost three weeks ago, I decided to abandon caffeine cold-turkey. I quit drinking coffee and chai. There was no gradual replacement of my 16 ounce cup of coffee with an 8 oz. cup and some Earl Grey tea. No, I woke up one morning and said, enough is enough. The first two days were pure hell. I felt like I was being stabbed behind my eyeballs by thin knives laced with acid. The headaches were disabling. I felt like I was losing my vision in my right eye. This only served to motivate me to keep away from caffeine. Ingesting a chemical that causes such acute withdrawl symptoms had to end...and I thought I didn't know what addiction was, right?

In the 18 days since this decision, I've had 3 cans of Diet Coke. Otherwise, no caffeinated drinks. But, I still have to go to Starbucks all the time since I meet there with my teachers. I've switched from a tall chai with a shot of vanilla to a venti tea. And I can still listen to the music.

My hunch is that the music that gets played in this Starbucks down here in Kenneth Hahn Plaza on 119th and Wilmington is infrequently played at other Starbucks across Los Angeles. Wait, let me clarify. This music is probably played neither in non-Black neighborhoods nor in neighborhoods where listening to The Gap Band full blast is not considered hip. Oh sure, those Starbucks may have the official cds but do they get put into the cd player on heavy rotation?

I've written here before about how this musical experience is completely absent at the Los Feliz Starbucks, where the tables are packed with wannabe screenwriters furiously tapping away at the keyboard, pausing only to observe themselves being observed by the neo-grunge hipsters looking like they just came down from their crystal meth high. Sips of triple lattes with two shots of vanilla, help everyone wax philosophical over how Los Angeles is just so hard to get used to, "But, it's so much better than Phoenix where people were just so closed minded, you know?" Fiona Apple is moaning in the distance...and everyone feels so cool. And so special.

The Starbucks by USC, is packed with America's second tier cream of the academic crop. These critical thinkers weren't able to go Ivy League, but will try to tell you they were never really interested in Harvard anyway. Now they studiously pore over Kerouac while dressed in boho-chic purchased for a pretty penny at Urban Outfitters. The music here trends towards reggae. I suppose it's meant to inspire everyone to work harder to Free Mumia. Or, at least work on it until they have to graduate and get on with the tough business of capitalistic consumption.

If you've never been to Kenneth Hahn Plaza in Willowbrook, the unincorporated slice of Los Angeles County, between the 105 freeway and Compton, you don't know what you're missing. Kenneth Hahn, was an L.A. County Supervisor, much beloved by the old-school Black community. He was also the father of our failed mayor, Jim Hahn, who rode Black Los Angeles' adoration for his father to election victory, and then subsequently spat on that adoration by firing the Black Police Chief, Bernard Parks.

These are complex issues to dwell on while I'm drinking a "Passion" tea and listening to "Between the Sheets". Everyone is busy bobbing their heads and singing along. Do you ever hear The Isley Brothers at your Starbucks?

Granted, this Starbucks has only been here for a couple of years and I don't think they play this music just for the heck of it. I'm sure some market research went into determining what should be played here. I supposed the analysts looked at these statistics:

For population 25 years and over in Willowbrook, California

• High school or higher: 48.1%
• Bachelor's degree or higher: 6.3%
• Graduate or professional degree: 1.9%
• Unemployed: 14.5%

Meaning that almost 45% of residents over the age of 25 have not graduated from high school. Did I mention that Willowbrook is tiny? Yes, it's only 3.7 square miles. Think about how massive Los Angeles really is: 469.1 square miles. Willowbrook is a speck on the map.

If you've never been to Los Angeles, think about the size of New York City. I'm not talking about Manhattan only. Compare Los Angeles to all five boroughs of New York City, which are only 303.3 square miles. Yep. And second-city Chicago is a mere 227.1 square miles.

I don't recall what used to be here in this space before Starbucks figured out that Black people drink coffee. I'm sure if I read enough on the Starbucks blog, I'll come across a santized version of how it went down. I wonder if it bugs them to be next door to a run-down Subway. Next door to that is a Chinese takeout place that, from a culinary standpoint, only bears the faintest resemblance to actual Chinese food. Next to the Chinese place is the Louisiana Fish Market, a true institution down here. And here come the girls in their Carver Elementary School uniforms. How I miss seeing those uniforms every day.

Ah, nothing like nine-year olds coming to get their caffeine fix.

Uninspired Valentine

By far, the most interesting part of my Valentine's Day was sitting at a booth in front of two women who were clearly consoling each other over their singleness. It turns out, one of the women was engaged...until about a week ago.

Over the next twenty minutes, Elarryo and I got to hear a few choice details:

• They were supposed to be married in three months
• She spent $4,000 on a wedding dress that is "Just sitting in a closet looking lonely".
• The dress was covered in hand-stiched Belgian lace and featured a very sexy corset-lace-up back.
• She even had a matching tiara, "I was really going to look like a fairy princess for him."
• She's not going to return the ring until her ex reimburses her for some of the costs she's incurred.
• He walked out on her and has refused to talk to her at all.
• She thinks there was another woman but she's not really sure since he won't talk to her.

Her friend suggested that she sell the ring and dress on Ebay. She got up to go to the restroom. That's when I started thinking that he might have left her because she was wearing very short "Daisy Duke" shorts out in public. After her return from the restroom, they then launched into a conversation about the process of auditioning for American Idol and not making it.

"I pray or whatever when I get discouraged because I know I really can sing. You know?"

Now, for the really romantic part of my evening: I know you all are just dying to hear the juicy details but I have to tell you, we got home, watched a bit about the St. Valentine's Day Massacre on the History Channel. Gotta love stories of Al Capone and Bugs Moran shooting up Chicago in the '20s and '30s.

Then we switched to PBS and watched an episode of Frontline about methaphetamine use. After being thoroughly depressed by the fact that more folks abuse meth worldwide than heroin and cocaine combined, I went to bed and dreamt of chocolate hearts kissing.

Why Are There Mirrors On The Ceiling Over My Bed?

Because I'm staying at the Tropicana Casino and Hotel in Vega$.

I'm here for a work conference and I cannot believe I'm staying here. There are mirrors over the bed. The headboard to the bed is a mirror and the wall on one side of the bed is all mirrors. Oh, it's so skanky!

I'm so glad Elarryo and the kids aren't here. I can just imagine Olinga asking, "Mommy, why is there a mirror on the ceiling?" Oh, I'm so glad I get to dodge that question!

Love in Los Angeles

I fall in love every day with Los Angeles. It's no wonder, I'm always seeing so many people in love here so I guess the love just bounces around us and infects us all. There's someone for everyone here...and no one is looking at you like you are an odd-ball if you're with someone that's a bit different than you. Why? Because everyone's so different. Sure, it's cliche to say how diverse this city is but check out my last 36 hours:

1) I went to the Bally's in Hollywood yesterday and today. Where else do you have the gay guys hanging out in one hot tub, the old Korean ladies hanging out in another and the old Korean men in speedos doing laps in the pool? -- Okay, okay...true diversity if the gay guys and the Korean ladies were in the same hot tub...

2) We went to the L.A. Zoo yesterday and saw so many interracial couples and adorable kids. More than I've ever seen in New York, Chicago, Boston, Houston, Atlanta, or San Francisco at one time. And no one was staring at them. Oh, and in case Sanaa Lathan is reading this, there were a bunch of Sista's with white men. Like I said last Wednesday, nothing new in that.

3) I was at Starbucks on Vermont and Prospect in Los Feliz and there was an older African-American gentleman on my right--turns out he's the Executive Director of the Black Aids Institute. He's originally from Chicago so it was really neat to talk to him. On my left were two sorority sisters planning an event. Next to those two was a young African-American man reading Proust.

Did I mention I love this city?

Happy Black History Month

It's February 1st -- and I work somewhere that will probably not acknowledge the existence of Black History Month. You probably work somewhere that won't either...unless you work with a predominately Black staff or your boss and the boss of your boss is Black.

That's one thing I miss about being a school teacher in Compton...Black History Month preparations started when we came back in January and it was a big deal! Now of course, six months after Hurricane Katrina, there are articles and polls asking if Black History Month has outlived it's purpose.

Hmm...let me see. Let's give you a quiz with three random Black history questions:

1) What was Ida B. Wells' profession? What did she crusade against?

2) What was (is) the "paper bag test" and the Blue Vein Society?

3) What was the Niagra Movement?

Did you get all three questions correct? No, I'm not giving you the answers. If you don't know, look them up online.

If you get one question wrong, you fail the test. Take that, overachievers!

Colorstruck

It's hard to confess, but yes, it's 2006 and I'd never seen one of the most important films ever made about Black folks.

Elarryo has a long list of movies I've never seen and he believes it's imperative I watch them before I leave this planet. One of those films is "School Daze" by Spike Lee. In preparation for Black History Month, I was treated to the complete home theatre experience of the film.

This photo is an image of Tisha Campbell playing a colorstruck girl named Jane Toussaint, and Spike himself playing wannabe Gamma Phi Gamma frat boy Half-Pint. In the film the character Jane is the queen of the light-skinned sorority sisters, the Gamma Rays. She has over the top blond/red hair and fake blue contact lenses.

In 1988 when this came out, it was a big deal in the Black community to have a weave and fake contacts... jump forward 18 years to Beyonce Knowles. Is Beyonce channelling Jane Toussaint or what?

We look at L'il Kim nowadays and shrug our shoulders, "Yeah, she thinks she's Barbie but more power to her if that's what she wants to do." Go ahead and keep getting those blonde weaves, bleaching your skin and straightening your nose Kim!


How interesting is it that today, pretty much any Black female actress, model or singer wears a weave...it's just standard practice now. And we think nothing of seeing Ciara with long blonde hair down to her behind. Do we think it's real? Or, perhaps we should all stop throwing stones at James Frey since none of us are really too caught up in what's the truth and what isn't...as long as it looks good, that's what counts.

Black folks used to be up in arms over the plethora of light-skinned women in music videos. It was always clear that the darker skinned sistahs were not high up on the beauty booty-shaking totem pole. Well, guess what Black folks, we done played ourselves...turn on any video by any Black male artist nowadays and guess what, there are almost no Black women (light skinned or dark skinned) anywhere in the videos at all unless there's a significant amount of dancing. Otherwise, for your typical video consisting of, "Hey, let's all dress in white and have some slo-mo shots of us grinding against some hot girls", it's all about folks that have Black ancestry but are reluctant to claim it: Brazilian, Puerto Rican, Cuban, and Dominican women. They have the light skin and they have the straight hair that we all seem to want...

Have you seen P. Diddy's new ads for his fragrance Unforgivable? He isn't even trying to check for Black women. He's successful enough to have an Asian woman sprawled across his leg and a Latina sitting in the background...but it's too sexy for stores? Okaay...maybe if he got a little more muscle tone and maybe if the both women didn't have these looks that seems to be saying, "Ok, I'm so going to kill my agent because I'll never get a good date after this ad goes public."

Because we Black Women have it so bad (you know, there are no good Black men and all that jazz), Hollywood has given us a special Black History Month present in the form of a movie called Something New . Don't you feel special now?

Apparently, the "new" thing is supposed to be Black women being found attractive by white men.

Hmm...I guess everybody done gone and forgot about the white male massah sneakin' off to the slave quarters to get with those Black female slaves. All in favor of Black History Month keepin' it real say, "Amen."