Since When Is Telling a Woman to Eat Your Dick Standing Up For Service Workers?

"I had a great time antagonizing her," says Elan Gale, producer of all those Bachelor/Bachelorette shows, about his live-tweeting of an interaction with a woman who was none too pleased that their Thanksgiving flight was delayed.

I don't follow Gale on Twitter so I missed his flurry of real-time tweets, but today I kept seeing headlines and Facebook posts about the "hilarious" and "awesome" smack down he delivered to Diane in 7A, who apparently was the Most Self Centered Traveler on Earth. Gale says he never been "unkind to a person in a service position," and he doesn't "care what’s going on with you: Don't be rude to people who are doing their job." Gale says the whole point of telling off Diane is that
"...it’s OUR job to tell every Diane to shut up.
It’s OUR duty to put the Diane’s of the world in their place.
We need to REMIND them about the way of things.
We outnumber them."
Whenever someone readily admits they were trying to antagonize someone else, and then anoints themselves as the one to put that person "in their place" and "remind them" of "the way of things," I give an automatic side-eye. But I was intrigued so I clicked on this Storify to read the entirety of what, according to Gale's tweets, happened.
According to Gale, after Diane complained, a "male flight attendant said 'I understand ma'am. I'm looking forward to seeing my family too.'" And then Diane replied, "This isn't about you."

So Elan went in. Cos you know, if one person's behaving badly, antagonizing that individual will make everything better. He tweeted:
I guess I was supposed to laugh at Gale's description of Diane, but most folks don't wear medical masks for the fun of it. What immediately came to mind is that maybe Diane is sick in some way. Maybe she is anxious to go home on Thanksgiving because it's her last Thanksgiving with her family.

As for idiot face? Oh, okay...seeing Elan's photo above, I can think of a few dozen comebacks about his appearance that Diane could've used, but let's not sink to that level, mmkay.

In any case, after some more back and forth, Gale tweeted this note he passed to Diane:
Hilarious and WAY heroic way to stand up for working people. Don't eat an arm, or a finger. Don't munch on a spleen. Diane has to eat Gale's dick.  

I can't help but wonder if Diane had been built like the Rock and named Dimitry if Gale would've passed his "eat my dick" note up to seat 7A.
Go on, tell me to eat your dick, Elan Gale.
I have a feeling Gale would've just kept his indignation about rude behavior to flight attendants confined to Twitter. But clearly, there's nothing more noble than shutting down a woman you think is being difficult and annoying by telling her idiot face to eat your penis. She deserved it cos she was rude, right?

I also wondered what would've happened, and whether the general public would've found it hilarious and awesome, if a black man was tweeting about telling a white woman to eat his dick. Say it's Gucci Mane on the plane tweeting about Diane.
If I tell a white woman to eat my dick, am I awesome?
Seriously, if he's ice-cream-tattoo-Gucci, not Gale, is he still a hero standing up for service workers? 

Yeah, I really wish a black man—or how about an Arab man wearing a turban—would pass a note to a white woman on an airplane saying that "eat my dick" mess. I doubt the flight attendants would've been giving a wink and nod, as they appear to have done to Gale. Security would most definitely have been waiting when they deplaned.

The whole thing has me reflecting on how white men are pretty much raised to believe they can say and do whatever they want. Antagonize a woman, tell her to eat your dick, and you'll be lauded as a hero. As the brilliant Rebecca Carroll said of Gale, "He is the utterly ultimate uber quintessential I-can-say-what-I-want-delusional-white-intellectually-free-hipster-man."

I also don't know if all this dick eating that Gale encouraged really makes a difference for service workers. Maybe he could stand up and support the service workers who spent Black Friday protesting outside of Walmarts about their low wages and abysmal working conditions instead.
Maybe one of those Walmart Strikers can be cast as the next Bachelor or Bachelorette. I can see it now, "The Bachelor: Walmart Edition."

As I shared with my friends on Facebook, the entire situation also made me think 
"...about how after my brother's suicide the TSA people at LAX were going thru my bag and when they asked me if I had any money on me, I'd say no, and then the metal detector would go off and I was all, "I have no idea WHY that is going off...oh wait, is that money in my pocket?" And so they pulled me aside and were grilling me and I was finally like, look, my brother just died so I have no fucking clue what you're saying."
Elan Gale probably would've tweeted, "This black lady has no idea she has money in her pocket. She looks crazy and disheveled."

It's true. I did look crazy and disheveled because I'd been crying hysterically and I have no idea how I even got dressed or packed. And nope, my response to TSA was certainly not polite.

I'm sure Gale would've tweeted next, "The black lady who couldn't figure out how to get the change out of her pocket just rudely told the TSA she has no fucking clue what they're saying." And then he would've decided it was his duty to put me in my place by sending me a little note telling me to eat his dick. Great.

Also, I'd love to hear Diane's side of the story. I know I can't be the only one who's dying to hear it!

Maybe she's totally fine and just super eccentric and likes wearing face masks. Maybe she'll say "Yep, I was having a moment. Mea culpa." Regardless, we could all stand to have more empathy for each other, and it never hurts to step inside someone else's shoes. C'mon, Elan Gale, let's have less dick eating and more actual love and caring in the world. We could all certainly use it.

Comments

Anonymous said…
This is phenomenal. Thank you SO much. I admit I laughed a bit at the tweets in the beginning (I also read them on Storify - I don't follow him on Twitter) because we all do know people like that, and some of us have even been on the receiving end of that type of behavior. But when he started with the dick-eating comments it became decidedly less enjoyable, though I surpressed my instincts and am embarrassed to admit I enjoyed the comedic aspects. I abandoned my usual mantra of "You never really know what another person's story is." Thank you for calling me out. Mea culpa.
Anonymous said…
I can't believe I gave you a page view after reading this
Anonymous said…
So when Diane slapped him, did he bring it on himself with his eat a penis rhetoric?
Anonymous said…
To the writer of this article. You are a joke. The problem with society as a whole is that here are not enough Elans out here being honest. No body would have given a shit if this was a black man or woman or Hispanic or Asion or cat or dog... it would have still been funny. Freedom of speech? 'Eat my dick". If this comment + Elan being a white male made this somehow more offensive... do the world a favor and go kill yourself please. #TeamElan
Anonymous said…
Great post! - I was thinking much the same - and how would the world look if we all took Mr Gale's myopic advice and told people off in crude terms whenever we were annoyed and wished to antagonize for the sake of it? Picture it... not a very loving picture at all.
It's also quite possible there is no "Diane," at all who he engaged with, and very likely that Mr Gale made the whole encounter up, much as he did his prior "live-tweet blind date" and other stories he has fabricated, in order to get views/publicity:
http://crasstalk.com/2012/06/abc-producer-live-tweets-a-blind-date/
Beth Brown said…
The one time I conversed with someone wearing a surgical mask on an airplane, it was a woman who had terminal cancer who commuted by air to a specialty oncology unit in Chicago where they were trying desperately to give her a few more months to live. She was wearing the mask because the treatments left her with almost no functioning immune system. My point with this anecdote is that if I hadn't taken the time to talk to the odd looking lady and learn something about her, it would have been easy to classify her as a hypochondriac, paranoid weirdo. Sometimes what this world needs is a little more communication and compassion. Elan Gale went into self-appointed attack mode before ever finding out why this lady was being an egocentric, It's-all-about-me, pain in the butt. Perhaps if he had shown some compassion and sympathy and asked a few questions, he would have learned that there was something behind the lady's behavior that would have driven any one of us to the point of being rude and inconsiderate. We'll never know because he didn't ask. He passed judgement on a complete stranger, and set out to antagonize her. Why should we be surprised if she responds with antagonism? He achieved exactly what he set out to accomplish, which was to make another human being a little more unhappy, to turn an already miserable day into something more unpleasant. I don't see anything admirable in that kind of behavior.
Los Angelista said…
I'm glad that we can all be clear now that Team Elan isn't just about telling women to eat dicks. It's also about telling women to "do the world a favor and go kill yourself please."

I just want to know, would Elan come defend me, and would you be nicer if I were a service worker?
Anonymous said…
Your question of whether or not things would have been different if he weren't white actually borders on racism in my opinion. Horse shit. That guy Elan was an idiot, so was Diane, and so are you, apparently.
Anonymous said…
Thanks for bringing another perspective to this incident. If Mr. Gale had just live-tweeted the whole thing that would have been fine for comedic purposes, I guess. But the "eat my d**k" took it too far. Sure her behavior was selfish, but we don't know her backstory and what might have influenced her behavior.
Los Angelista said…
I'm a firm believer in having self control. Nobody can make you slap another person--you choose to do it. No, it's not right that she slapped him. I don't want to get into the "who is justified in being horrible" argument cos they're both wrong. But across the web Elan was lauded as a hero and as hilarious. Diane was not. And I have no way of knowing her perspective since she wasn't live-tweeting what happened.
Serving Sin said…
This article is such ridiculous crap. Here we have an author who clearly believes she knows this man by assuming what would have transpired next. Black, White, Asian or Muslim? The woman needed to be put in her place and I would applaud anyone for doing so. I work in the service industry and have dealt with enough "Dianes" over the years. The woman was a bitch plain and simple and to justify her response because you did not like his tact is pathetic at best. The problem with society nowadays is that people have lost their balls. Kudos to Elan, it is time to let people know that deplorable behaviour will not be tolerated. The verbatim could have been toned down but anyone who suggests we consider her back story, please...once an ass always a selfish ass!!!
Los Angelista said…
Thanks for reading--you know, his first couple of tweets I chuckled cos we've all been on a plane with someone who is not at his/her best--although how any of us can fully be at our best in the 17-inch space we're allocated unless we pay extra for business/coach class is beyond me. In any case, we also all have our moments where we've laughed at something that's hurtful to someone else. Some of the most popular comedians out there have made their whole schtick about the 'isms" (racism, sexism, classism, etc.) I just could not stop thinking about how many times I'd seen this was soooo funny and Elan Gale is such a hero. And if a hero is a man who tells a woman wearing a medical mask to "eat my dick"--well...
Los Angelista said…
The wonderful thing is you still have the rest of your Saturday to do something amazing in the world. Since Elan Gale is in favor of supporting service workers, how about support those working at Walmart: http://bit.ly/1eJEaYg
Los Angelista said…
Anonymous, do you really think if Diane looked like Gucci Mane, Elan would've reacted the same way?

Or if Elan Gale looked like Gucci Mane and he was harassing a white woman on a plane that there would've been the same reaction?
Unknown said…
Lots of people are congratulating this blockhead for putting Diane in her place. But he didn't do anything to resolve a bad situation. In fact, he went out of his way to exacerbate it, gleefully spending the better part of four or five hours baiting a person who was already highly-agitated. He and his fellow passengers might be lucky in that all she did was slap him after they got off the plane. Volatile people are certainly capable of doing much worse. It's the flight crew's job to deal with Diane if she was bothering others, and I think she has a legitimate complaint that the crew didn't do anything to stop Elan from harassing her. As far as I'm concerned, she might have been annoying, but he's a jackass.
Los Angelista said…
I don't know Elan Gale. Never said I did. But I do know America, and I know how race and gender work in America--I know this because I'm impacted by them both on a daily basis and I see how they drive so much in our society. And I would bet money that if Elan Gale had been a black man tweeting about trying to figure out ways to antagonize a white woman, folks would not have been all "hahahaha, you're my hero."

Also is the way to challenge "deplorable behavior" to address it with more deplorable behavior? I've worked in the service industry as well, especially in restaurants, which is why, when I go to a restaurant, I am always have a great deal of empathy for workers and tip like it's nobody's business. And if you've worked in a service industry, you know very well that putting a smackdown on your customer can backfire on you with a quickness--as can being a bystander when another customer chooses to do so.

I also disagree that the problem with society is that "people have lost their balls." I'd say the bigger problem is a lack of unity/love.
Los Angelista said…
Ooof, that's awful if he made this up. I was just talking on Twitter with some folks about how the narrative of this is told from a close first person point of view, which often leads to an unreliable narrator--in this case he'd be a HIGHLY unreliable narrator.

And I agree, the world would be terrible if we each decided that we had the right to just tell everybody else about themselves. It's that "put them in their place" thing that bugs me especially.
Anonymous said…
Agreed. I get so sick of people making non-race issues about race. The two things had no correlation.
jme said…
@Anonymous You're either white or incredibly young. If a man of color sent a white woman that letter, it would have made national news.
Unknown said…
I think "Anonymous" here is confusing racism with the understanding of stereotype threat. Would it be different? Not certainly, but probably. The cultural stereotype is that black men are dangerous and violent. People react to that in different ways, but stereotype threat usually works out like this:

* If Diane looked like Gucci Mane, Elan Gale would probably have done nothing so overt, because the stereotype threat in this case would be "black men are violent, and I don't want to start something with a violent person".

* If Elan looked like Gucci Mane, a good portion of the people reading the headline "Gucci Mane sexually harasses woman on flight" would respond with the stereotype of "black men are sexually savage" and think of it as yet another example of why they view the stereotype as true. Others would ignore the headline under the similar presumptions, and a few would still be lauding Gucci as a "hero".

I mean, all that above is obvious. There's plenty of news in just the past few months that show examples of stereotype threat and how people react.
B said…
OK, I wasn't going to comment until I saw the comments. I am a white person who used to lean slightly toward the "let's stop making everything about race" side. Then I started teaching in inner-city Oakland, with classes of mostly black and all minority kids. And I started seeing that it is a huge privilege I have to say that things aren't about race because for many people, everything IS about race, all the time because that's what people see and that's how people judge you. So yeah, it would be different if he weren't white. Absolutely. Everything is different for people in the US who aren't white and it must be really hard to get used to so let's not pretend we're all colorblind here. A black man would not have gotten away with that for a minute; he would have been seen as threatening and probably escorted off the plane by the authorities. Same with anyone who looked vaguely Muslim.
Call Me Johnny said…
I didn't read this as being about race but rather about someone being a self-appointed bully. Had Diane been a man or had she been traveling with a man, Mr. Gale would have refrained from his attacks or he would have still been looking for his teeth.
Anonymous said…
A man of color would not send a white woman that letter, because they know what would happen if they did. Yep. Only entitled white boy is gonna go there.
Anonymous said…
Agreed - he definitely felt perfectly safe harassing her, and although she finally retaliated by slapping him, he knows he wasn't in any major physical danger.
Los Angelista said…
Yup, if you're NOT Michael Jackson and you're wearing a surgical mask, chances are you need a lot of compassion and sympathy. Sometimes it can be hard to give it, but it needs to be given.
Anonymous said…
If you truly see that the problem with society is because there are not enough white, privileged, misogynistic, sexist males shooting off at the mouth about women and how they should be sucking or eating their dick then you........you are the definition of everything that is wrong in this world.
Anonymous said…
I remember my husband's plane being held up for a bunch of giggling women clutching shopping bags and his frustration when he had to dash across the airport to catch his connecting flight. He just wanted to get home, and those women never offered an apology or had any conception that anyone else may be put out by their actions. So like worthingtonpost above, I appreciated Gale's frustration and the tweets.

But also like the post above, the note with the comment really crossed a line with me. That was exactly when it got less enjoyable. I guess he was trying to be funny, but it sure didn't do it for me. Maybe I'm a prude, but that was going too far.

BTW, I do not think being male and white had anything to do with it. Not all white men are raised to think they own the world. It is such unpleasant generalities based on gender and race that we have been trying to move away from...just switching stereotyping to another race and gender is not moving forward. Not to mention, being a crass self-righteous idiot is certainly not limited to whites or men! Hahaha

I am so very glad you called Gale out on his comments. I really felt for you when you were describing your frustration at the airport at such a trying time. Truthfully, I didn't think twice about "Diane" until I read your post. I am very much chastised in my heart for not being the kind of person the kind of person to even look for the other perspective. Thank you for that reminder.
Anonymous said…
Extremely good point, Beth Brown. "This world needs a little more communication and compassion." Very well said.
Anonymous said…
Being white and male had absolutely everything to do with Gale's false sense of entitlement to slap other people down.

You might wish to examine why you're so uncomfortable with the concept of white male privilege. Usually that happens because the truth is hitting too close to home.
Anonymous said…
Excellent post, Los Angelista - you hit the nail on the head with everything that is so wrong about this story and the way this misogynistic jerk is being hailed as some kind of workingman's hero.

To the poster of the "You are a joke" comment: I hope that you're very young, and therefore might still outgrow and someday look back and cringe at your profound lack of understanding about the realities of inequality in your society, your ridiculously juvenile "#TeamElan" mob mentality, and, most of all, your cruel, crass, lacking-in-all-human-empathy suggestion that the writer - who has i this very post shared a heartbreaking description of her reaction to her own brother's suicide - should "go kill [her]self."

You should really, truly be ashamed of yourself. Grow the fuck up.
WallyWampa said…
"The whole thing has me reflecting on how white men are pretty much raised to believe they can say and do whatever they want. Antagonize a woman, tell her to eat your dick, and you'll be lauded as a hero." Umm, no. As a white male raised in the midwest, if I were to have said anything like this to a woman, I would have had my ass handed to me by my father and mother. Aside from the over generalization, I think you are spot one about Elan. But please, keep in mind, not all white males in American are womanizing, arrogant, assholes who believe the world owes them a favor. Some of us are just normal, well-behaved gents getting by in the world.
Unknown said…
Thank you so much for writing this. I've been disturbed. By the number of people sharing this who don't see it as bullying. I read it thinking of the red flags of domestic violence and his comment 'eat my dick' is sexual harassment. Following Diane off the plane to continue harassing her was a massive red flag.

I can't believe Jezebel published this as 'funny'. Surely, a feminist publication should be able to recognise male violence for what it is.
Anonymous said…
I laughed at the first few tweets (in an article). I cringed at his note giving her wine and telling her not to talk anymore. Sounds like an entitled white guy there. I was horrified at his sexual harassment. Totally a d*ck move on his part. And then the internet celebration of his vulgarity? Yikes. I'd rather spend time with obnoxious (imaginary, I am sure) Diane than aggressively vulgar Elan.
But actually haven't read his blind date tweet and knowing he works for a reality show, I am quite sure this is all his idea of a joke.
Anonymous said…
*having. Not "haven't". I've read his other practical jokes. I suspect this plane incident is completely made up.
Anonymous said…
Well said, Los Angelista.
Forest McMullin said…
Liz Dwyer- Well written, thoughtful, and thought provoking. And the dissenting comments that follow manage to prove your points, in spite of their writers' intentions.. Thanks for writing this.
Amber S said…
Good to read your perspective and hear this side! I reflected on this as well: http://ambermsmith.com/blog/2013/11/29/public-shaming-kind-cruel-society/
Anonymous said…
I'm confused by the hypothetical Gucci Mane scenario. Los Angelista posits that a black or Arab man would have been met by security at the gate. I'm not sure if the author is saying that this would be an unjust over-response caused by racism, or whether they're saying that security's absence in Elan's case is an unjust under-response caused by racism. Or both?
Anonymous said…
Nice :-). Of course, Elan was right about one thing. There are more nice folks in the world than asses. He just didn't realize which side of the equation he was on.
Anonymous said…
Agreed. And ditto for going around creating drama during the obligatory headaches of holiday travel just for the sake of it.
Here's another blog I saw yesterday, questioning the credibility of Mr Gale's rants, including the #TeamDiane #TeamElan one. And I've been seeing more and more of this type of questioning re his motives all day today.. hmmm.
http://melissawashere.wordpress.com/2013/11/29/why-isnt-anyone-questioning-the-diane-story/
meimeian said…
Telling people to "eat your D" is part of freedom of speech, Anonymous? Your freedom of speech stops where it starts to hurt others, haven't you been taught that? Insults are offensive FYI.
Anonymous said…
And it turned out that Diane had cancer....
Unknown said…
I was disgusted reading the Twitter feed to this well before it go to the "eat a dick" moment. Why not, when he sent her the glass of wine, attach a nice note to it in an effort to remind her that, yes, we are all in this together and Thanksgiving is a time to remember the triumph of a human spirit. Kindness would have likely defused the entire situation.

Of course, I stopped reading this article when it got to "The whole thing has me reflecting on how white men are pretty much raised to believe they can say and do whatever they want." That's a rather inflammatory and incorrect statement. I work in film and television and Mr. Gale is indicative of the attitude of the industry at the producer, show runner, and star level. While speculating on how Twitter would have reacted differently if the man had been of a different race is not only valid but lead to some very true observations, the point was lost by trying to make Elan Gale somehow exemplify white males. I don't see much difference between how Gale reacted and some of Chris Brown's public fiascos. Being rich and powerful in an industry where you're surrounded solely by yes-men who refuse to criticize you, coupled with the narcissism both inherent in the industry and in Twitter itself, is what leads to stunts like this. A classist argument would be relevant than a racial one.

Kudos, though, on calling this dirtbag to task.
Anonymous said…
I've never heard anyone use the term "eat my dick"..it's a strange saying and has people reacting. It could just as easily been the more common "kiss my ass". I really don't understand how any of this has anything at all to do with race though. Assuming what Elan would have tweeted about you based on your race is antagonizing racism. Keep the plight going strong sistah. After all...it's all about the fact that he is white..right? And he mentioned Diane's race...oh wait, he didn't.
Anonymous said…
How is this person making guesses at what Elan might have Tweeted any better. I understood his point of view but wish he had stuck with the high road. This person's opinion I find much worse for creating tweets to feel superior about.
Jonny said…
This entire article is awful. Élan was on the point and I couldn't agree more with his entire take.
Anonymous said…
Freedom of speech means the government can't stop you from speaking out against anything. Using foul language is just in poor taste and inappropriate for the situation, not that I'd expect anyone on the internet to understand that, of course.
Anonymous said…
I am not uncomfortable with white male privilege. I perfectly understand that white males have a lot of things in their favor in this world and that sometimes they may have trouble seeing how some things may be harder for anyone else.

However the statement "all white men are pretty much raised to believe they can say and do whatever they want" is incorrect. If I had said, "all black men are pretty much raised to believe that being a gangster is cool and stealing is fun" that would be just as incorrect.

But your response got me thinking: The fact that he decided to tweet his frustration at this woman and then take the additional step of sending her drinks may have been because he is a white male, in that it didn't occur to him that he would get in trouble for it. That such action would be badly taken if it were done by anyone other than a white male just didn't occur to him. Okay, I can see that. But anyone could understand his frustration in such a situation and his annoyance at "Diane"...goodness knows I was annoyed at such an attitude.

However, the EAT my D part and the snotty, holier-than-thou attitude online afterward are PURE jerk, in line with internet jerks of whatever race/color/creed. I think this is just Gale's way of trying to become an internet celebrity. I read in the comments below that he had fabricated previous tweets before in order to get attention. What a jerkwad. If he wants to be famous, I hope he becomes the internet poster child for jerkiness.
Anonymous said…
#TeamElan
T. Hunter said…
Race. Race race race race race race race race race race race. Anything is race. Everything is race. Race is the end all be all of everything. No matter what it is, where it is, when it is or how it is, it is race. Race is the answer to everything. And if you don't subscribe to that, then you just can't see the truth because of your race.
Anonymous said…
Excellent answer, L.A. And an excellent post; thank you. I was beginning to wonder-- okay, already wondering-- what kind of bizarro world I'd stepped into when I saw people all over Facebook posting approving links to HuffPo, Buzzfeed, and Jezebel talking about how "epic" and "hilarious" this was. I wondered if they'd actually read past the first couple of tweets to the part where the self-righteous author starts tormenting and sexually harassing a woman for fun because he thinks it'll put her in her place.
Los Angelista said…
No, not every white male learns this at home, Shane--and I'm glad your parents wouldn't stand for this sort of thing--but an attitude of inherent racial of superiority and sexism still permeates our society. You can learn (and benefit from it) even if you didn't directly grow up with it. My dad is white, so I've heard him talk plenty about this. Thanks for reading.
Unknown said…
This article is ironic in a very bad way. In it, you make assumptions and fabricate circumstances to make Elan look like an insensitive racist, while at the same time claiming that white men are raised to say and do what they want and poke fun at his appearance. You should be ashamed! At the end of your slanderous article filled with personal attacks and racism, you have the audacity to ask for more "love and caring". How is it loving and caring to post an article online that will be forever attached to this young man's name? I think Elan's notes were in poor taste, but this article is much worse.

By the way, wearing face masks on planes is a common practice- especially around the holidays when the flights are full of children.
Los Angelista said…
Thanks for coming to read, Jonny. We'll just have to agree to disagree.
Los Angelista said…
I'm not sure what "plight" you're referring to. Despite your desire to believe otherwise, race is a factor because of the way people reacted to him. That reaction would undoubtedly change depending on the race and gender of those involved--or am I to infer that you have no problem with my saying that Gale wouldn't step to a man who's 6'5" like the Rock?
patrick said…
"The whole thing has me reflecting on how white men are pretty much raised to believe they can ..."

Look, this guy's an ass, but please don't reduce him to a stereotype representing all white men. The lesson here is not about white men.
Anonymous said…
Whether this is white privilege is up for debate, but it's obviously MALE privilege. Women don't normally tell people to eat their dicks, as they don't usually have them.
Anonymous said…
And people wonder why women are portrayed in a certain hysterical light. These types of blogs are EXACTLY the reason. The ultra feminist, in their schrill voice take a fake story and make everything about them. This wasn't about women, it wasn't about the interplay between the sexes, nor was it a grand statement on how men are "raised" to treat women.
It was about a women who was acting like a child and a man who acted in a similar manner. That's it, that's all she wrote.

we have Senators ready to take down women's rights to chose, judges not will to let women proceed with equal pay for equal work and these "feminist" get up in arms over a stupid comment and you make it easy for those judges and senators to portray you as whiney women…because that's exactly how you behave.

Get off your soapbox, get off your high horse, stop defending this woman's behavior.
Anonymous said…
Thank you indeed for standing up for compassion and kindness. We don't know what this woman was going through and neither did Elan. You are right, If this woman had been a big burly dude, he probably wouldn't have said a damn thing.
Hack said…
What if Elan had been a giraffe, Diane had been an octopus and the story took place on a submarine? The answer? This article would still be stupid, inflammatory and way off base. So, instead of letting it fade away into our 15 minute public attention span, you disregard logic and give the story legs that keep it running. Sincerely, A White Man Who Knows How To Be Respectful To All Regardless Of Race or Gender
Anonymous said…
"Go kill yourself"? Nice way to out yourself as the bully you are (and likely used to be). You're a coward, and evil as well. Shame we all had to get a glimpse into your toxic little world.

PS Great, great post, Los Angelista.
Anonymous said…
Yet when men say these things, they are 'passionate,' not 'hysterical,' they are 'forceful' instead of 'whiny' - perhaps if men stopped assuming women are motivated solely by emotions while believing themselves innocent of it, we women wouldn't be facing some of the challenges to our rights that we are facing now.
Hack said…
How do you know what he would or would not do? How do you know Elan's race? Are you judging a book by it's cover or do you know his lineage? It was never a race issue yet you've taken up the issue and carried it into the fray rather than letting it go. You inferred a lot from a Twitter feed and made a lot of illogical leaps to promote it as a racial issue. How a feud between two people you don't know that ended with her smacking him has turned into a sympathy party for the smacker and a crucifixion of the smackee is beyond me.
Anonymous said…
I agree this article was mostly garbage. While Elan resorting to comments about eating his D were certainly not noble, nobody comments about how this woman was ruining the day of everyone else and how nobody was saying anything about it. The world is full of egocentric, self entitled people who go around screaming about how everyone else should be making sure they're day works out perfect, because as Diane said, it's not about anyone else. But god forbid you stand up and tell a white woman who is being rude to all the poor "help" around her that she needs to shut the hell up, cause now it's going to be either racism (if you aren't white) or white privilege (if you are white).

Rudeness isn't restricted to race either. Anyone who's ever worked in retail will know that rude and self-centered douche bags come in every gender, size, and color. Unfortunately, the workers who are being bullied, insulted, and mistreated are prohibited from reacting themselves. If only there were more people like Elan in the world who would stand up and say something. It's all behavorism and operant conditioning. People learn that if they yell, they get what they want, so the behavior is rewarded and reinforced. Now, if every time they yelled someone else gave some rude right back to them, the behavior would likely diminish or extinguish.

Finally, you are right that we don't know Diane's story. However, we don't need to. No story gives someone the right to behave like that and not face the consequences. And really, the consequences of being rude SHOULD be that others are rude back. Usually, when you are rude to people, they don't like you and are no longer required to be nice to you. That's kind of what rude is. Sometimes, they might even say something mean or tell you to shut up because, surprisingly, they don't like you.

So ya, Elan wasn't very classy about the way he went about telling this woman that she was rude and giving her a taste of her own medicine; But you know what? Neither was Diane.
Silencio said…
How do you know what Elan was thinking? Do you have an inside line on this story that the public does not? I read this article once and could completely relate. I have been pretty close to telling other people on planes to chill out due to how overly entitled others think they are in a public situation. So, anyways, how do you know that this Elan was "tormenting" and "sexually harassing" someone to "put them in their place"?? This is you being way over-dramatic and putting emphasis on pre-conceived notions you allready have about this man that that I gather you don't actually know. This was far from the words you use to describe his actions, you sort of shame others who are ACTUALLY sexually harassed and tormented as those are loaded words. Granted I do not know this Elan as well but ehh, it was a mean spirited sort-or joke that may be in bad taste but a your take on it sounds like a serious crime took place. I found it funny and maybe a little out of line but man, who cares what this lady's background story was , some people won't put up with your entitlement to be special in public, period! Also, I GUARANTEE you that the many service workers love when the public stand up for them, even in a crude form as they can not ever do this. I have worked in retail and service for years and know this for a fact, like 80% of those jobs would love this and it would make their day.
Silencio said…
What are you talking about? Is this not a man we are talking about? He is getting slamed by (presumabley) women on this comment section left and right! So obviously when men "say these things" its not cool with everyone. This is not that big of a deal in general, there are plenty of other men that are easier to target for sexist crimes then this attempt at a crude joke to a person who may have deserved it. Your in public, act civil, end of story. If you need serious help ask for it and lets hope its a valid reason so you do not waste every ones time. If you can not live by those rules then your life will be not so great when you are in public and thats just the way it is. There are WAY (I mean WAY WAY WAY!!) bigger battles to fight! I work with the public day in and day out and they are , as a whole, a mess. There are tons of incompetent people who are over entitled trying to take advantage of anyone who is willing, its just how it is and really no one can change it as a whole. this woman was acting out of line , this man was sick of it and reacted. No big deal, he got slapped in the end. If a woman did this on a blog people would hype it up like crazy, it would be the big deal of the day on the net... just like this is.. in 2 weeks it will be as if it never happened.
Cameron196 said…
#TeamHumanity. #TeamPoliteness. #TeamCompassion.

Sigh. I was just about in tears when I got to the end of the Huffington Post piece about this whole incident - and then when they said that Elan was a Hero?!? For being out and out rude. Since when does returning rudeness with more (and worse) rudeness make anything better?

I'm glad I spotted this article to see that there is a little thought going on out here.
Anonymous said…
"Whenever someone readily admits they were trying to antagonize someone else, and then anoints themselves as the one to put that person "in their place" and "remind them" of "the way of things," I give an automatic side-eye. But I was intrigued so I clicked on this Storify to read the entirety of what, according to Gale's tweets, happened."

isnt this what youre doing to the Elan Gale?
Los Angelista said…
1. Not crying.
2. I don't see myself as a "black female victim."
3. What exactly are these "desperate attempts at appearing strong?"
4. No, it's not just about rudeness, but thank you for sharing your opinion that this is just "whining about nothing."
5. I'm still waiting for an explanation of how exactly this supports service workers.
Anonymous said…
Just for the sake of whatever, only about half the internet thought Elan was a hero. Apparently those who write the headlines thought so. The other half seems to think Elan should eat his own dick. Personally, and I might be jumping to conclusions, since Elan is a reality TV producer, that pretty much says Elan eats his dick for a living. Not on team Elan, and if I watched his shows, I would stop.
Anonymous said…
Thank You. I also had a problem because of the sexual violence inherent in the phrase. I hate language which uses the male genitalia as a weapon. His whole treatment of the situation was just being a jerk to somebody who was already displaying antagonistic behavior from their distress. Not cool. It was funny up until he sent the first note that said something about her shutting her mouth... he could have actually been the better person and just sent the wine and a note that was actually nice... he antagonized someone who was upset, yeah she was wrong but he made things worse.
Anonymous said…
I'm sorry but,

1. You can't guess what Elan would've said to you in your situation. Stop putting yourself in Diane's shoes, she clearly didn't explain herself even though she could've in writing notes back. She could've written back and said, "look dude, I'm fucking dying" or "I have cancer and this is my last Thanksgiving with my family" or whatever scenario you want to drum up for this lady. Simply, from her notes, she seemed very uptight and self-centered.

2. Stop throwing around phrases like "white male privilege." It doesn't apply here.

This entire article is pretty irritating because you seem to be personally offended about something that doesn't really apply to you. It almost appears that you want a personal apology from Elan for things that he could have potentially said to you.

While Elan may not have handled the situation in the most graceful way possible, it was meant to be humorous and slightly offensive. He was attempting to ruffle Diane's feathers even more, and yeah, that doesn't make him a good person, it makes him an asshole. But nonetheless, it came off comically because he was telling it like a story.
Anonymous said…
" A White Man Who Knows How To Be Respectful To All Regardless Of Race or Gender"

Yeah, not so much.
Anonymous said…
Thanks for a great article, Los Angelista. Having worked as a waitress for many years, I cannot for the life of me imagine how the hell someone would think they were standing up for me if they told a rude customer to eat their dick. How the hell does sexually harassing a customer help service workers? Female service workers put up with so much sexual harassment on the job, that portraying sexual harassment as some kind of comical heroics only serves to hurt female service workers by characterizing the sexual harassment they endure on a daily basis as funny and harmless. And what kind of wonderland are people living in who think this had nothing to do with race? God, it's sad we don't teach history in American schools. So for anyone posting here who thinks this has nothing to do with race, I understand you never studied history. However, you obviously have access to the internet and, therefore, no excuse for your astonishing ignorance. So I'm going to give you a little help getting started here. Go to google. Type the following two words: Emmet Till. And that is just to get you started. There is PLENTY more. You have no excuse for remaining utterly ignorant of American history just because you're white. I'm white. Like you, I also didn't learn about America's history in school. But guess what? There are people you can talk to, books you can read, documentaries you can watch, and oh yeah, the internet. So pull your head out of the sand and learn something.
Anonymous said…
I personally thank Elan for calling her out. Being a service worker I know firsthand how many people treat those in the business. Granted he may have taken it a bit too far with the whole "eat my dick" note. But I feel your article focused more on that than on the actual issue of Diane, who obviously is in her own little world of entitlement. The point was she was not the only one affected and her comments to the steward were uncalled for. And I really don't understand why the race card had to be played. Really? Why does everything have to come down to race? I don't care what race you are, have respect for others and it will be returned.
Anonymous said…
What a storm in a teacup and a convenient soapbox for the author to completely go off on 'ism' tangents completely unrelated to the incident. Stinks of desperation..
Anonymous said…
i thought this was a great article and the proof is not only the people who do connect with your words but the ones who are all pissed off and defending elan's actions. like others above mentioned, i have traveled and the first tweets were amusing. until the note. and the next note. and if he cared so much about the flight crew, WHY try and get them in the path of her ire by trying to send the snotty notes with drinks via them? he may not be speaking rudely but he was trying to get them to behave unprofessionally. like they don't know their jobs? believe me, attendants deal with faaaaar worse. this crew was handling it professionally. being polite and not giving the behavior energy. why did they give elan the bottles to do as he wished and not deliver them? because they did not want to get involved. they had two difficult passengers. elan walking by her and fucking with her and taking pics was when he really started harassing her. which again, is not going to make the flight easier for the crew. antagonize the erratic woman who is obviously distressed and acting out. your article is the first of many echoing the sentiment like http://georgiaisyourfriend.tumblr.com/post/68584186283/antagonizing-people-for-pleasure-profit. the people freaking out about your article are merely defensive because they are in denial and the truth is something they don't want to hear because then what does that say about THEM?!? they thought it was hilarious/deserved/totally justified/blah-blah. the truth pisses of people who are lying to themselves. consider it applause from ignorant masses. kudos. new fan here.
Anonymous said…
i hope he was faking. and it comes out.
another possibility is maybe she/diane will come forward and we will find out that the mask was for an illness--then watch all the ones who are so indignant then turn on him. there is apparently a hierarchy of who "deserves" kindness and respect and who gets less. of course, women are always low on this scale as a whole, with men getting more as they get lighter. the ones who resist this notion are of course at the "deserves more" spectrum.

imagine how it would have gone down if instead of antagonizing her, he would have sent a note of support to the crew like "hey, you guys are amazing, thanks for being so patient with that lady in #7, you ROCK!!!! have a great holiday and thanks for your work" if you support the worker--show them, don't get indignant on behalf of them and make the situation more tense. what a shit-wit.
Anonymous said…
The blogger's just airing personal issues with life using projection and speculation of what would have been said if one was black, brown, gay, whatever. Its pathetic. You're part of the problem Liz. This white guy (oh the horror) clearly had a valid gripe with someone who was affecting every nearby passenger, but it seems because he's white he shouldn't speak. He did, and if society would react differently to someone of different color or gender that's society's problem, not his and in no way invalidates his voice. Up to the distasteful 'eat a dick' part, the rants were spot on, but the assumption this was all universally acceptable discourse is purely your own. I feel bad for you Liz Dwyer, you've got some seriously misplaced anger issues yourself. When you say "Yeah, I really wish a black man—or how about an Arab man wearing a turban—would pass a note to a white woman .." it's a projection of your angry fantasies. Calling yourself a lover, not a fighter only adds to the irony. Even your TSA anecdote points straight to white men, no one else. Your personal biases equate to your own personal flavor of discrimination, you should be ashamed.
Los Angelista said…
Thanks for reading, Forest.
Hack said…
And just exactly how did you draw your educated conclusion that I am not respectful? What did I say that was disrespectful? Or are you just out of condescending remarks after using them all on Elan?
Anonymous said…
Having cancer doesn't give you the right to be a selfish bitch.
Anonymous said…
Kudos to you, Los Angelista for posting this & for continuing to blog even when you get shitty comments like the OP on this thread.
Anonymous said…
I'm not sticking up for anyone or taking anyones side here because I think bad behavior from anyone is just horrible. I have been called horrible things by black men, I have been raped by a mexican man, and I have been looked down upon by other races so lets not do the whole because he was white thing. It is because he was not raised correctly as anyone of any race who portrays bad behavior.
Anonymous said…
"Your freedom of speech stops where it starts to hurt others"

That's not true... at all.

What you should say and what you're permitted to say are very different things.
Anonymous said…
I agree with just about everything in this article and I'm happy someone has brought up this point. If everyone exhibited more empathy in this world it'd be a much better place. One thing I do have a problem with here is making this about race. Male white privilege is definitely a problem in the US (no doubt) but in this instance I don't see how this has anything to do with him being white. For an article to talk about empathy and understanding and then say a guy saying "eat my dick" is a "white" thing is quite hypocritical. "The whole thing has me reflecting on how white men are pretty much raised to believe they can say and do whatever they want." That's hypocritically judgmental. I've known many, many black men who do and say whatever they want whenever they want. If you wanted to make an argument along those lines I don't see why you didn't just say "men"?
Anonymous said…
Ironic that Elan replies on his blog:
" What I did today was just point out something we all know: Be nice. It’s Thanksgiving. Be nice."
Elan did NOT set a civilized example of niceness to Diane. He gleefully stuck his nose right into an unpleasant situation and made it worse. Sounds like the flight attendants were handling it. If Elan REALLY wanted to show his sympathy and solidarity with the flight attendants, he would have quietly told them he appreciated their efforts to deal with Diane and tipped them all $100+ each.
Anonymous said…
Are you serious? We are going to turn a simple case of two people being rude into a racial issue? Seriously, folks, this has nothing to do with race, and those who try to manufacture race into the issue are, themselves, racist ass-hats. How about simply pointing out that two rude assholes on a plane do not make for a more pleasant flight than ONE rude asshole on a plane? Inconsiderate behavior does NOT justify uncouth behavior. And slipping someone a note seems a bit cowardly... Why not just stand up and tell the woman to shut her piehole and stop stressing everyone out? I'm sure that would have had a better effect, as people would, then, have the opportunity to chime in. No, What Elan did was NOT heroic, nor was it appropriate. There are more poignant ways to drive your point home to a rude, inconsiderate person than mere vulgarity... The problem is the person is NOT going to learn their lesson. That particular mentality is, at the very least, borderline sociopathic and sees absolutely no wrong in anything they do or say. Therefore writing a vulgar note is simply going to add indignation to their already bad attitude, and give them a REASON to be even ruder. (If only in their mind.) No, People like that need to experience true shame in order to see the error of their ways, and it is nearly impossible to do. Simply telling them what an asshole they are wont work. NEITHER will it work on Elan, I'm afraid, because anyone who thinks they are the hero of that story is as narcissistic as the person they imagine themselves to have taught a lesson. Humility and shame must be given carefully and, quite frankly, politely. Having a hospital bed stashed somewhere with a fake patient to be rolled past the indignant soul would work once or twice, until the word got out... But I would have visibly neglected all the other passengers in favor of this woman, and when one of them complained I would have said "But Diane is more important than you are... didn't you know that?" Let Diane feel the discomfort of being despised by everyone around her and see how she acts the next time she gets on a plane...
tellan said…
The whole issue broken down to it essential is this is bullying and harassment.
Anonymous said…
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0301842/
KarenAnn said…
as much as you try to say he is a stereotypical white man who feels he is entitled to say and do as he pleases, she is definitely the stereotypical white woman, who apparently feels the same entitlement...did he go too far by telling her to eat his d*ck? maybe...maybe not...we all have our own morals and standards, so the answer to that question is subjective and the answer depends on who you ask...neither is right or wrong, it's relative...but was her comment to the flight attendant, that this wasn't about him, it was all about her, any less tactless? I don't think so...it was extremely ignorant, plain and simple...you don't have to use foul language to be offensive...when you start acting like you are better or more deserving than others, this is what you get...for better or worse in his approach to let her know she was acting like an @ss, she brought it upon herself...if she didn't behave inappropriately to begin with, the rest would not have taken place...so put the blame where it belongs, she set the ball in motion and she has to accept the repercussions of her actions...and if none of this ever happened and he was making it all up, oh well, it's not the end of the world people
KarenAnn said…
spot on!
Los Angelista said…
I thought about that too, Bill. We already know there is a real lack of mental health care in this country, and folks are stressed out over so many things. You never know when someone will snap, so why purposely antagonize them?
Anonymous said…
Thank you, Los Angelista, this is the best analysis I've read of this situation. No one wears a surgical mask for fun.
Anonymous said…
Los Angelista, you live in a fantasy world thats seems sorta like a utopia. This is what you are aiming for but it is a set up for failure as the human race as a whole will not act how you think they should day in and day out. Nice attempt to be the"better person" but yeah, its just not realistic at all. Its super easy to spout your opinion behind a blog and tell others how they should act but GOOD LUCK taking that logic into the real world. I have worked in the service indsutry for years and there are a-holes day in and day out that demand to be treated better then everyone else and we are so sick of dealing with these over entitled people. Have you ever worked in the service industry? If so you are a god amongst men (woman) if you have and still feal the way you do. I have known people from every walk of life, dying , near death sick etc and some are extremely grateful to be alive and are nice and some are just assholes because thats who they are. The public SHOULD NOT have to stand for this BS. reality check lady, reality check.
Ophelia Benson said…
Very well said. I said something similar on my blog yesterday.
Anonymous said…
I'm a white male. I'm just putting that out there to dispel suspicion. (It's true. I admit it.)

Hear me out. Please. I know you're prepared to assume what I will say, and are already thinking about a rebuttal before I can make a case - but I'm requesting you give my thoughts a chance.

Assigning characteristics to people on the basis of race / gender is plainly wrong. That's stereotyping. We as a society recognize that it's not OK to assume a person has specific behaviors & attitudes because they are a woman, or a minority.

But it seems totally fine to create a stereotype of white males. We're privileged. Racist. Sexist. (etc.) I can't say I personally would have done what Elan did. It seemed excessive and self-centered.

I understand the anger at how Elan turned one woman's meltdown into an internet meme. I wouldn't want someone live-tweeting my every misstep. But I also don't agree with Los Angelista's eagerness to assign Elan's personal actions to a general denouncement of white males. Why not also say that all women are like Diane, if generalizations are the order of the day? What's the difference. Both Elan and Diane seem like people I wouldn't want to sit near on a plane. Why does Elan represent a stereotype, while Diane does not?

In summary: if stereotypes are not OK - why is it OK to make an exception when it's a chance to pin boorish behavior on a white guy? Elan was one dude, not the representative of all white men.
Anonymous said…
RACE CARD ALERT! Call the race police.

Come on man, if ANYBODY had done this regardless of the ethnicity of either party, they would have been treated the same way. Bad behavior is bad behavior, and most of us love it when people are called out on acting badly. Regardless of the races involved. It's people like you that keep racism alive -- by constantly framing EVERY INTERACTION AROUND RACE. And you defend the bad behavior of whichever race or gender you believe is downtrodden. Until ALL of us begin to look at every interaction as a human one, instead of focusing on the *possible* racial implications, racism will be alive and well because that little bit of racial paranoia will always be planted in the back of our minds (or in you case -- firmly entrenched in the front of you mind).

Look up secular humanism. Study it and understand it. Stop perpetuating racial hatred -- don't you realize your brand of racial interpretation is no different than a Klansman's? Oh well, I guess I'm speaking to a deaf ears. Your bigotry is so ingrained that you will never see anything clearly.. Hopefully your children don't inherit your ignorance.

Cheers and happy holidays!
Anonymous said…
Your *perception* is that race and gender dictate your daily interactions. Unfortunately it's this narrow minded view of the world that perpetuates the thing you think you're trying to fight.

If a white person politely asks a group of black people to be quiet in a movie theater, is that a racial encounter? Race is there, it can't be avoided a fact, but common decency shouldn't have to be twisted up in your skewed view of good or bad behavior which should have no racial aspect. It's called humanism -- look it up.l
Anonymous said…
"eat a dick" or "eat a bag of dicks" isn't a 'white' term. I've usually heard it used by computer/hacker types who span all races. It's not meant to be a sexual insult -- men use it more often against other men in my experience. Of course it's a bit crass but immediately calling it misogynistic or racist just misses the point.
Anonymous said…
Link please? I haven't seen this anywhere else.
Anonymous said…
Elan was dead wrong in using the low class comment. Race has nothing to do with it. Being totally ill mannered has everything to do with it. Two wrongs never make a right and in my opinion the comment Elan Gale made was sexual harassment.
Anonymous said…
I'm a white male. I'm just putting that out there to dispel suspicion. (It's true. I admit it.)

Hear me out. Please. I know you're prepared to assume what I will say, and are already thinking about a rebuttal before I can make a case - but I'm requesting you give my thoughts a chance.

Assigning characteristics to people on the basis of race / gender is plainly wrong. That's stereotyping. We as a society recognize that it's not OK to assume a person has specific behaviors & attitudes because they are a woman, or a minority.

But it seems totally fine to create a stereotype of white males. We're privileged. Racist. Sexist. (etc.) I can't say I personally would have done what Elan did. It seemed excessive and self-centered.

I understand the anger at how Elan turned one woman's meltdown into an internet meme. I wouldn't want someone live-tweeting my every misstep. But I also don't agree with Los Angelista's eagerness to assign Elan's personal actions to a general denouncement of white males. Why not also say that all women are like Diane, if generalizations are the order of the day? What's the difference. Both Elan and Diane seem like people I wouldn't want to sit near on a plane. Why does Elan represent a stereotype, while Diane does not?

In summary: if stereotypes are not OK - why is it OK to make an exception when it's a chance to pin boorish behavior on a white guy? Elan was one dude, not the representative of all white men.
Anonymous said…
Waste of an article - don't eat my dick.. just get a life and stop your unnecessary man-hating you attention whore.
Los Angelista said…
Thanks for reading, Forest. It's been really fascinating to see the comments on this. Glad I wrote it.
Los Angelista said…
Louise, I was REALLY surprised that this was seen as funny on Jezebel. That was one of the sites that really gave me pause.
Anonymous said…
I am a white male and I'm also rather offended by the egregiously broad stereotyping made by this black author against white men. This is not the 1950s and you certainly are not Rosa Parks. Race was not an issue in this matter of two people whom acted rather poorly. Stop the race-bating, stop blaming, and above all else, learn to love instead of dividing people. I hope you're ashamed at this trash opinion you've written and will either remove it at once or apologize for it. Bringing awareness to legitimate racial inequalities is important business; however, taking an incident such as this and creating an angle of racism is pathetic. These were two stupid people, one male, one female. #disgustingjournalism
Anonymous said…
Exactly!!!!
ShottleBop said…
This is from just a couple of days ago: http://www.ktvu.com/news/news/local-govt-politics/fair-housing-investigation-reveals-discrimination/nb7h5/

This is from a few months ago: http://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/2013/June/13-crt-739.html

And what is the proportion of white folks who get stopped by police after purchasing an expensive item at Barney's to the black folks who get stopped, do you think? http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/black-barneys-shopper-accused-buying-2g-purse-article-1.1494855
Anonymous said…
She was lucky she didn't go to jail for slapping him. Throwing a temper tantrum and slapping someone is uncalled for unless she herself was in danger, which she was not. The woman is a grown child. You don't get to assault someone based on your gender.
Anonymous said…
Thanks! I will be following Elan and never reading another article by you, so thanks for giving him exposure!
Aminah said…
the "hate" line in the note that he gave to Diane bothers me more than the "eat a dick line." not my finest moments, but i've been known to invite people to eat my imaginary phallus from time to time. to me this man seems at best childish. didn't he ever learn that you don't have to say (or tweet) everything you're thinking. liz, you are correct. insert the rock or gucci mane, as either of the players, and this whole scene changes. white male privilege is the order of the day. unfortunately, the first step in the solution is that the privileged have to admit that there's a problem.
Anonymous said…
"The whole thing has me reflecting on how white men are pretty much raised to believe they can say and do whatever they want."

This.
Anonymous said…
I LOVE how the author doesn't even respond to a comment like this. Generalizing about white males is just as wrong as generalizing about black men or women or anyone for that matter. But she won't touch it because heaven forbid white men be defended coherently and she agrees with it.
Anonymous said…
Calm down. Act like a bitch, get treated like a bitch. She got exactly what she deserved. Get off your high horse.

I'll never read anything by you again, and I'm seriously questioning buzzfeed after running a version of your diatribe.

Anonymous said…
Just wanted to point out that the woman probably wasn't terminal, a good amount of people wear facemasks on trains/plains because they're afraid of GETTING sick, since they are trapped in an enclosed space where germs tend to spread more aggressively. It's a bit of an over-reaction I would say, and could definitely be construed as dumb. You immediately jumping to her possibly dying is a huge leap, especially with this much more obvious reason.
Anonymous said…
eat a dick
Anonymous said…
Then Elan was fucking rude. That wasn't me using foul language, that was me using "fucking" as an intensifier.

Not that I expect anyone on the internet to understand what that means.
Anonymous said…
What a waste of life this article is.
Anonymous said…
I was interested in your take till you turned it into a racial issue.
Anonymous said…
Okay, so, *if indeed this all happened the way we understand it*, this guy definitely made a poor choice of words (in what was likely an overly agitated state). This much we can assume.

However, consider his most likely/predominant intent. He was objecting to this woman's behavior.

Do you really think he would have said anything at all to her, or anything like this to any woman at all, if not for her alleged behavior and the utter lack of self-awareness thereof? If he had said "kiss my ass" instead, you wouldn't be so convinced that intentional sexism was such a part of this?

This is not blaming the victim, either. If there is/are any victim(s) here, it's the people who were subjected to this woman's behavior. She is the one who initiated the entire fiasco.

I am 100% against sexism (and racism, homophobia, etc.). However, while I do realize that the speaker and/or his or her intent do(es) not dictate others' reactions, some people assume/read into things a bit too much and I think that's what you're doing here.

All that said, we don't even know for sure that any of this happened. I'd agree that he went overboard, even aside from choice of words, but people who do behave in such fashion indeed deserve to be called on it. The more calmly done and on-point the better, but if this guy's career choices are any indication, I doubt we can expect such sufficiently prudent judgment from a person who has subjected society to the likes of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.

Anonymous said…
Whether or not Gale thinks this is ok because he is white isn't really the big point to me... Would twitter and the whole internet be ok with this exchange if Gale had been black? I doubt it. What if "Diane" were dennis and Gale was a woman who told him to eat her pussy? Would that be ok? This wasn't ok, not at all. "Diane" was wrong first, but Gale was wrong most. Granted her slapping him was a bit ridiculous, but he provoked her, while being aware that she was maybe not all that stable, probably for the sake of his twitter followers. GROSS.
Anonymous said…
I don't think the author of this article understands trolling...
Anonymous said…
You got it in your third paragraph, I think, about where the white male privilege is here. It's not so much that he's been told his whole life, "you're white and male and you can say anything to anyone" and then he thought to himself, "I'm a white man, I do what I want!" It's that as a white dude he's less likely to be punished by anyone in this situation. He's absorbed that unconsciously his whole life, and as a result he has the privilege to be oblivious to the possibility.
Beccx said…
http://entertainment.time.com/2013/12/03/the-elandiane-hoax-assuming-the-worst-about-strangers-wins-the-internet/
Beccx said…
http://entertainment.time.com/2013/12/03/the-elandiane-hoax-assuming-the-worst-about-strangers-wins-the-internet/
Anonymous said…
Race card really!? Sure, if he was black he probably would have gotten kicked off the plane... Since were playing pretend, lets pretend he was a dog, this article would be about the worlds first talking dog, not about a talking dog that put some self centred terminally ill woman in her place, but he wasn't a dog, he was a guy who decided to do something hilarious about this tantrum throwing chick.

See how weird you made this...

Anonymous said…
It's amazing how many white males are taking offense at the idea that the situation would have been different if Elan hadn't been a white male. The author isn't saying that every white male in the world is guilty and has bad intentions, but we need only to look at how Western society has, historically, treated anyone who isn't a white male to see where she's coming from. You white males are entitled to your opinion, of course, but a little self-reflection isn't bad, either.

And to the larger point: This was all a hoax. http://www.salon.com/2013/12/03/rude_airline_passenger_diane_in_7a_was_a_hoax/

The fabricated "Diane" behaved badly. The fact that so many were willing to jump on the bandwagon to support absolutely unsupportable behavior by this Elan guy is really disturbing. Boy -- the Internet just loves a witch hunt!
Anonymous said…
First of all this was all revealed to be fake.

Secondly it is just as racist to blame someone's actions on "white privilege" as it it is to blame someone for a crime because they are black or hispanic. How about we just chalk it up to the fact that he is an a**hole and leave it at that?

Now who is the bigger a**hole, someone who snaps at everyone around them because they might have personal problems that they have not dealt with properly, or someone who takes it too far being rude to someone who is abusing airline workers who have to stay polite or risk losing their jobs?
Did he take it too far? Absolutely. Did she deserve to be treated poorly? Definitely.

Is your solution to hug it out with a person who is being a complete cow? Because in the real world no one cars about your reasons in a passing moment, only your actions. Let me ask you this, what if it was Gucci Mane who was being rude to airline personnel? What if a middle aged lady told him off, would you take exception to it then? No? Well guess what that's sexist.

What if Elan had told a black man off for being rude? Would you take exception to it then? No? Well that my friend is racist. See this card can be played both ways but Elan is not allowed to because of his "white privilege."

Give your head a shake you make me sick.
Anonymous said…
As a white straight male, I recall not being raised to think I could do and say whatever I wanted (doing so resulted in frequent ass-whoopings from my parents), but society lets us get away with shit like this. Elan's first tweet is A-OK, I have had delayed flights before and loud complainers and squalling crotch dumplings have made me bitch on FB...but then he goes off the deep end. I'm not saying that his comments were not influenced by white male privilege though...because they are. I'm with him on the first tweet. But just because you are annoyed at this woman doesn't give you the right to tell her to eat your dick. It's one thing to express frustration on your Twitter...it's another to think it's ok to make sexist comments (and telling a random woman to eat your dick is definitely a sexually charged comment). The idea that a non-white man would be given the third degree for making the same comment is right.
Anonymous said…
Ugh. @Los Angelista

Will you stop bring up "if Diane looked like Gucci or the Rock" !!! If Daine looked like the Rock she would've never gotten away (or possibly even known she'd get away) with slapping a fellow passenger.
Anonymous said…
"male violence" ??? Amazing in a story about two rude passengers that ending in a woman hitting a man, your take was an example of male violence.
Anonymous said…
Just wanted to send you some love for this article Los Angelista. I'm sorry you have to deal with these people who are so scared of talking about race that they just attack. "Not everything has to do with race". Sorry but yes it does and people like you who ignore race, are the ones that make it about race. I don't know how many countless times a white person has said something blatantly racist (i.e. "thooosee people vacuum in the middle of the night because they're Indian. Soooo annoying") but for some reason I'm always blamed for making it about race when telling them to stop? Even if it doesn't, you have no evidence to eliminate it as a possible factor.

Thanks for an interesting lens of this situation.
Anonymous said…
It was all a hoax, purposely designed to yank people's string. The joke is how many people fell for it

http://www.news.com.au/technology/online/hoaxes-fooled-the-internet-in-2013/story-fnjwmwrh-1226779628947

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