Frumpy Hipsters

Today I got to experience a world that I seldom inhabit. I took my two sons to the mall on a Tuesday afternoon. I’m usually at work on Tuesday afternoons. So today, in the spirit of vacation, we went in search of adventure and the toy store. Our destination was the K-B Toys I thought was still open in the mall. I was wrong. Apparently they went out of business a couple of months ago. You can only imagine how well that went over with a five year-old and a two year- old.

Despite the disappointment, my boys waited patiently while I tried on and purchased a pair of red shoes from 9-West. They moaned a bit when we strolled through Express and were relieved when I promised I wouldn't try anything on. They flat out rebelled when I suggested we go into the MAC store. After the rebellion, I let them romp in the Lego store till they announced that they were hungry. We then headed to the food court and downed some slices of pizza. It wasn't till we headed for the indoor play area outside of JCPenney that I noticed two things that seemed so odd about our trip to the mall.

First, you have to understand that normally on the weekends or in the evenings when I head to the Glendale Galleria, the place is jam packed. They have to hire people to direct traffic in the parking garage because it's so crowded. Walking through the place on a Saturday can feel a bit like walking through midtown Manhattan at rush hour. Wall to wall people darting to and fro, clutching shopping bags and looking crazed. Today, I didn't run into anyone and no one tripped into me. In fact, most stores I went into, I was the only customer.

This leads us to the second odd thing. Who were the other shoppers? No, not fifteen year-olds wearing Sex Pistols t-shirts. No, not the futue homecoming queens dressed in pink Ambercrombie sweatshirts. Nope, the other shoppers were moms, mostly moms out with their small children. I know all those women aren't on vacation like moi, so I found myself wondering, is this what housewives do when they get bored? Do they go wander around in the Glendale Galleria? Of course, some moms are more obvious than others. Here are the types I observed:

Type A: Frumpy Mom. This mom is a little on the plump side, wears tennis shoes, a yellow shirt and light-blue colored jeans. If Frumpy Mom has on a dress, the dress has boats or flowers on it. Frumpy Mom wears a necklace with her birthstone on it. She has an enormous beige purse in which she drags around all the "just in case" items she could possible need. Frumpy Mom doesn't wear makeup and doesn't have a manicure. Or an eyebrow wax. Frumpy mom is shopping with a purpose. Her kids need school clothes and she's on a mission to get them.

180 degrees away from Frumpy Mom lies the realm of...

Type B: Hipster Mom. This mom is doing her best to not look like she's a mom. She's pushing a stroller while wearing patent-leather high heels and low-rise dark-wash "skinny" jeans. (The jury is out on whether she should actually have the jeans on). Hair, nails, makeup are all done. Her diamond jewelry sparkles as she longingly gazes at the Forever 21 window display. Hipster Mom says to her children, "Mommy likes that cute pink shirt over there. Won't it look hot on mommy?"

Does Frumpy Mom look at Hipster Mom and wistfully recall her own hot pre-pregnancy body? Does she dream of spending money on Victoria's Secret underwear for herself instead of a three pack of superhero undies for her kids?

Does Hipster Mom wish she had the confidence to walk out of the house without the pound of makeup and styled hair? Does she gaze at Frumpy Mom's tennis shoes in envy?

These two types of moms were incredibly easy for me to discern. Most moms, including yours truly, fall somewhere between the two extremes. It's two very different mentalities. Which begs the question, is one more content than the other?


Sundry said…
If I had to bet, I'd put my money on La Frumpy.
the last noel said…
Yup, a momwoir is waiting to be written.

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