Comments on Los Angelista's Guide To The Pursuit Of Happiness: Quieter, Messier

My Sis only lives 150 miles away in Champaign ~ an...

2008-04-16T06:06:00.000-07:00

My Sis only lives 150 miles away in Champaign ~ and we are bad as well, and we cry as we drive off waving until one of us almost has a car accident!

Life is SO short and we LOVE our peeps, so how can we get it all together???

Glad you all had fun!! I sure do miss those days of watching the airplanes take off waving like an idiot as if they can see you!! LOL!

Brianna,Hope y'all had a good talk! Your sister i...

2008-04-15T19:08:00.000-07:00

Brianna,
Hope y'all had a good talk! Your sister is totally beautiful just like you! It runs in the genes! :)

man, this brought tears to my eyes! I feel like i...

2008-04-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

man, this brought tears to my eyes! I feel like i need to go call my sister immediately.

Mamita,LOL! Oh that is so funny! They're all up ...

2008-04-15T12:35:00.000-07:00

Mamita,
LOL! Oh that is so funny! They're all up in your kool-aid, hanging out forever! Gotta love it. -- And that'll probably be me in the future with the kids.

Jen,I have always wanted to host exchange students...

2008-04-15T12:32:00.000-07:00

Jen,
I have always wanted to host exchange students. I think my parents did for a little bit and didn't have a great experience with theirs but I can't wait to do that. I hope we can see each other soon, too. The good thing is time is flying and it'll be summer before I know it!

Jali,
I'm so glad you're going to go see your sister now! Good for you and for her! I think sometimes we forget that we aren't promised forever with folks and even if our folks are spread out all over the country, we can't let too much time pass without connecting.

Cyndee,
Oh, I love you too. :) You mean you didn't let Lance see your tears? Darn it! Just be glad you didn't go see Atonement with me. I was just gonna take your shoes to the post office. Can you come back so my insomnia will disappear again and so I can play my funeral song for you again and cry over that? And I need someone to go evade mountain lions with. Sigh.

Haute,
Write as much as you want in my comments! That's so sweet that your mom called and asked if you were crying. Aww! That's the best! I can't wait till my boys get older and I can be that mom that comes to help them decorate their first bachelor pad. They'll probably be sneaking around pretending they're not home when I call! And great that your sister is coming to visit! I'm sure you two will have a wonderful time. Sisters are the best -- I'm glad I get along with mine. There's such a big age difference with us that I suppose we could end up not getting along but we do. Weird about your friend not coming out. But I suppose that happens. Some folks can't deal with keeping up with folks that aren't right in front of them.

At least you know what its like to miss your famil...

2008-04-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

At least you know what its like to miss your family! My parents are here, my boyfriends family is here - there is no reason to cry except that we want them to LEAVE!

sorry for double comments, I just read all the oth...

2008-04-15T11:41:00.000-07:00

sorry for double comments, I just read all the others and ITA! "Why don't you move back?" Argggghh.

I recently came to the realization that my best friend of 17 years may not really be my BFF. Our season seems to be up b/c after living here for four years, and her cancelling a trip here for my BIRTHDAY with very little apology, she can't really be a true friend of mine. It takes as much for me to come that as it does for ANYONE to come here.

Awww, first of all: YOU MADE ME CRY! Yesterday I ...

2008-04-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

Awww, first of all: YOU MADE ME CRY! Yesterday I had to wave goodbye to my mommy and daddy and I cried like a baby. My mom called from her cell and said "are you crying?" I said "of course I am, I miss you already." It's hard living the LA life and only seeing those that you love the most every once in awhile.

I also cried because my sister and I shared a room too. She's four years older than me and a stay at home mother of 3. But thress weeks ago she told her husband "I can't take it anymore. I need to see my Soo Soo." He booked the flight right then and there! She called me, we squealed for joy, and then she got choked up. I heard it in her voice and I cried too. Sisters are the best!

How do I always end up writing an entire blog in your comments section?

I miss you and love you - your blog made me cry (b...

2008-04-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

I miss you and love you - your blog made me cry (but not in public). Keep my shoes I already bought a new pair and besides I can use them next time I come see you!!!!

I'm crying a bit and I'm going to check for flight...

2008-04-15T08:19:00.000-07:00

I'm crying a bit and I'm going to check for flights right now and go visit my sister in California.

Thank you l.a. I don't know what's been stopping me.

I'm so glad you had such a lovely visit with your ...

2008-04-15T06:20:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad you had such a lovely visit with your sister. I cry in airports all the time - we've had five exchange students over the year, who are definitely part of the family now, and we cry when they arrive to visit and cry and cry when they leave. And yes, I liked it so much better when we could see them get on the plane.

I hope you can see each other soon. And I like keeping some things around for the return visits - she won't have to pack her running shoes next time! I have a bathmat that I keep for my mom and a gloves , hat and scarf set that I keep for my Swedish "daughter" and my Japanese "daughter's" Winnie the Pooh doll is here, too.

Nick,I think some folks believe crying is a selfis...

2008-04-15T01:02:00.000-07:00

Nick,
I think some folks believe crying is a selfish thing and see it as being negative.

As far as folks not coming to visit -- I don't think folks disapprove of my lifestyle (gosh, what is my lifestyle??) I try not to read into it too much but it does hurt when I let myself think about it. Some relatives say they're too busy. Other folks flat out lie and say, "Yeah, I should come out to visit," -- and then they never do. Gosh, it's so complicated. I could totally go to therapy over this issue alone.

Chani,
That's so cruel for them to not even call you. How do you deal with that? The issue of family members who are estranged from each other, dislike each other and/or do not speak is a hard one for me. It's so prevalent in my family. In my family there's a trend where folks get upset with each other and then just stop speaking. The the person might as well not exist, and everyone acts like their "side" is the right side. And of course this is not to say that folks don't do legitimately hurtful things to each other, because they do. I just think about how there are so many relatives I don't know or barely know because of things that went down ages ago.

Blackliterature,
I'm so glad you're so loved. I cry everytime I leave home too. --I was just thinking today about how much I miss being up in the Bay Area. It's so beautiful there.

Claudia,
I'm usually really good about remembering where my car is parked (I'm very spatial/visual) but I was really crying so rational thought was a bit absent!

Why do so many of us have relatives that won't visit? What's up with that? It makes me feel sad that you have to do all this for your sister and that it's all your sister cares about. It's pricey to fly everybody cross country and definitely getting cheaper for one or two relatives to come here and see us instead. But it is what it is.

1969,
I wish calling and saying that it hurts would make a difference, but it really doesn't. But I want my kids to see everybody so I'm plotting to take the kids back to the midwest this summer for a few weeks. They haven't seen my husband's side of the family or my mom for two years. I tell my kids that everybody loves them but that it's just hard to get together. I feel like such a liar though.

Red,
I am feeling better now. Thanks for asking. You're coming to LA? When? That is VERY exciting! Move to Silver Lake/Los Feliz!

Anyway, I don't know what the deal is but folks do act like coming to LA is the traveling equivalent of going to Mars. California might as well be another country. The funny thing is that everybody who comes out has an amazing time here and then suddenly understands why I don't leave.

I hope you're feeling better today. Is there some ...

2008-04-14T22:12:00.000-07:00

I hope you're feeling better today. Is there some kind of LA effect that stops people from visiting? The Major and I have always had plenty of visitors wherever we've lived, but our next destination is L.A. and it's quite surprising the number of people who've laready said they won't be making the trip to see us. Oh well.

Awww...you are gonna have me tearing up over here....

2008-04-14T18:57:00.000-07:00

Awww...you are gonna have me tearing up over here. *sniff*

I am so glad you had that special time with your sister.

When I moved away from home, my mom never visited me. It hurt me too. You would think the grandkids would draw them out. I finally called her and told her. Do you think that would help?

Oh sisters. I am so very glad you had a nice trip...

2008-04-14T18:08:00.000-07:00

Oh sisters. I am so very glad you had a nice trip. Hurray for that. I always park my car at the meter lot because I can never find it at LAX.

I get the visit thing that Danielle is talking about. My family won't visit - only my little sister. My little sister will come visit IF (and only IF) I pay for her ticket, and her children's ticket, then take care of her and the kids all weekend with thousands of dollars worth of events, presents, and food. I mention the money because, while I don't care, it's all she cares about. It sucks. And breaks my heart.

Sisters.

I remain delighted the trip with your sister went well.

I moved from the Bay to Charlotte a few years ago....

2008-04-14T17:11:00.000-07:00

I moved from the Bay to Charlotte a few years ago. I cry every time I leave home and every time someone from home leave me.

There is no shame in my game. These are the people and places that I love. ;-) And they love me back!

I'm so with you on all of this. At least you get t...

2008-04-14T15:39:00.000-07:00

I'm so with you on all of this. At least you get the "I have a few hours free" rap. Prior to my complete estrangement from my family, I used to hear after the fact that they'd come through the city where I was living.. and didn't even call.

But I can tell you that I cry when I have to say goodbye to one of my friends. It comes with the friend territory.

Yes, what's wrong with crying when you say goodbye...

2008-04-14T15:03:00.001-07:00

Yes, what's wrong with crying when you say goodbye? Has the stiff upper lip taken over or what? Why not show your emotions if you want? It's a shame your family never come to visit, do they disapprove of your lifestyle? Jenny and I have the opposite problem, our mothers are always keen to visit but they can get a bit too much!

Danielle,Glad you came by from Lola's. I need to ...

2008-04-14T15:03:00.000-07:00

Danielle,
Glad you came by from Lola's. I need to go say "hey" to her and see what she's up to! I also get some of that irony or else I get, "Why don't you just move back here?" -- which is probably not happening any time soon!

Lisa,
I SO understand what you mean about folks only being 45 minutes away and not visiting. How do you deal with that? And what do you tell your little girl about why grandma doesn't ever come over? That's why I don't feel ridiculously guilty about living out here in California. It's not like my family hangs out with each other all that much at home, unfortunately.

I really feel for you and I'm so glad your sister ...

2008-04-14T13:50:00.000-07:00

I really feel for you and I'm so glad your sister was able to come out and have a nice long visit with you.

I'm sorry your mom has yet to visit. I know that is painful. My mother hasn't visited me since 2002 and she lives 45 minutes away. My daughter is 5 and my mom has never made it to one of her birthday parties. So for some people, distance makes not a whit of difference! And like Danielle (above), I get flak for not visiting more often.

I found your blog on Lola's blogroll. I feel your...

2008-04-14T12:41:00.000-07:00

I found your blog on Lola's blogroll. I feel your pain regaring family visits. I've lived in San Francisco for 5 years and unless I fly back home, I see no one.

What's interesting is how I get chastised when I don't visit and folks don't see the irony in what they are saying.