Since When Is Telling a Woman to Eat Your Dick Standing Up For Service Workers?
I don't follow Gale on Twitter so I missed his flurry of real-time tweets, but today I kept seeing headlines and Facebook posts about the "hilarious" and "awesome" smack down he delivered to Diane in 7A, who apparently was the Most Self Centered Traveler on Earth. Gale says he never been "unkind to a person in a service position," and he doesn't "care what’s going on with you: Don't be rude to people who are doing their job." Gale says the whole point of telling off Diane is that
"...it’s OUR job to tell every Diane to shut up.Whenever someone readily admits they were trying to antagonize someone else, and then anoints themselves as the one to put that person "in their place" and "remind them" of "the way of things," I give an automatic side-eye. But I was intrigued so I clicked on this Storify to read the entirety of what, according to Gale's tweets, happened.
It’s OUR duty to put the Diane’s of the world in their place.
We need to REMIND them about the way of things.
We outnumber them."
Our flight is delayed. A woman on here is very upset because she has Thanksgiving plans. She is the only one obviously. Praying for her
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
According to Gale, after Diane complained, a "male flight attendant said 'I understand ma'am. I'm looking forward
to seeing my family too.'" And then Diane replied, "This isn't about you."So Elan went in. Cos you know, if one person's behaving badly, antagonizing that individual will make everything better. He tweeted:
Diane is in her late 40s or early 50s. She is wearing mom jeans and a studded belt and she is wearing a medical mask over her idiot face
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
I guess I was supposed to laugh at Gale's description of Diane, but most folks don't wear medical masks for the fun of it.
What immediately came to mind is that maybe Diane is sick in some way. Maybe she is anxious to go home on Thanksgiving because it's her last Thanksgiving with her family.As for idiot face? Oh, okay...seeing Elan's photo above, I can think of a few dozen comebacks about his appearance that Diane could've used, but let's not sink to that level, mmkay.
In any case, after some more back and forth, Gale tweeted this note he passed to Diane:
My response to "Diane" in 7A pic.twitter.com/cRN2togLdq
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) November 28, 2013
Hilarious and WAY heroic way to stand up for working people. Don't eat an arm, or a finger. Don't munch on a spleen. Diane has to eat Gale's dick. I can't help but wonder if Diane had been built like the Rock and named Dimitry if Gale would've passed his "eat my dick" note up to seat 7A.
 |
| Go on, tell me to eat your dick, Elan Gale. |
I also wondered what would've happened, and whether the general public would've found it hilarious and awesome, if a black man was tweeting about telling a white woman to eat his dick. Say it's Gucci Mane on the plane tweeting about Diane.
 |
| If I tell a white woman to eat my dick, am I awesome? |
Yeah, I really wish a black man—or how about an Arab man wearing a turban—would pass a note to a white woman on an airplane saying that "eat my dick" mess. I doubt the flight attendants would've been giving a wink and nod, as they appear to have done to Gale. Security would most definitely have been waiting when they deplaned.
The whole thing has me reflecting on how white men are pretty much raised to believe they can say and do whatever they want. Antagonize a woman, tell her to eat your dick, and you'll be lauded as a hero. As the brilliant Rebecca Carroll said of Gale, "He is the utterly ultimate uber quintessential I-can-say-what-I-want-delusional-white-intellectually-free-hipster-man."
I also don't know if all this dick eating that Gale encouraged really makes a difference for service workers. Maybe he could stand up and support the service workers who spent Black Friday protesting outside of Walmarts about their low wages and abysmal working conditions instead.
This is what being courageous and resolute looks and feels like. #walmartstrikers @changewalmart pic.twitter.com/K9doKJkRIL
— ForRespect (@ForRespect) November 29, 2013
Maybe one of those Walmart Strikers can be cast as the next Bachelor or Bachelorette. I can see it now, "The Bachelor: Walmart Edition." As I shared with my friends on Facebook, the entire situation also made me think
"...about how after my brother's suicide the TSA people at LAX were going thru my bag and when they asked me if I had any money on me, I'd say no, and then the metal detector would go off and I was all, "I have no idea WHY that is going off...oh wait, is that money in my pocket?" And so they pulled me aside and were grilling me and I was finally like, look, my brother just died so I have no fucking clue what you're saying."Elan Gale probably would've tweeted, "This black lady has no idea she has money in her pocket. She looks crazy and disheveled."
It's true. I did look crazy and disheveled because I'd been crying hysterically and I have no idea how I even got dressed or packed. And nope, my response to TSA was certainly not polite.
I'm sure Gale would've tweeted next, "The black lady who couldn't figure out how to get the change out of her pocket just rudely told the TSA she has no fucking clue what they're saying." And then he would've decided it was his duty to put me in my place by sending me a little note telling me to eat his dick. Great.
Also, I'd love to hear Diane's side of the story. I know I can't be the only one who's dying to hear it!
Maybe she's totally fine and just super eccentric and likes wearing face masks. Maybe she'll say "Yep, I was having a moment. Mea culpa." Regardless, we could all stand to have more empathy for each other, and it never hurts to step inside someone else's shoes. C'mon, Elan Gale, let's have less dick eating and more actual love and caring in the world. We could all certainly use it.
Comments
It's also quite possible there is no "Diane," at all who he engaged with, and very likely that Mr Gale made the whole encounter up, much as he did his prior "live-tweet blind date" and other stories he has fabricated, in order to get views/publicity:
http://crasstalk.com/2012/06/abc-producer-live-tweets-a-blind-date/
I just want to know, would Elan come defend me, and would you be nicer if I were a service worker?
Or if Elan Gale looked like Gucci Mane and he was harassing a white woman on a plane that there would've been the same reaction?
Also is the way to challenge "deplorable behavior" to address it with more deplorable behavior? I've worked in the service industry as well, especially in restaurants, which is why, when I go to a restaurant, I am always have a great deal of empathy for workers and tip like it's nobody's business. And if you've worked in a service industry, you know very well that putting a smackdown on your customer can backfire on you with a quickness--as can being a bystander when another customer chooses to do so.
I also disagree that the problem with society is that "people have lost their balls." I'd say the bigger problem is a lack of unity/love.
And I agree, the world would be terrible if we each decided that we had the right to just tell everybody else about themselves. It's that "put them in their place" thing that bugs me especially.
* If Diane looked like Gucci Mane, Elan Gale would probably have done nothing so overt, because the stereotype threat in this case would be "black men are violent, and I don't want to start something with a violent person".
* If Elan looked like Gucci Mane, a good portion of the people reading the headline "Gucci Mane sexually harasses woman on flight" would respond with the stereotype of "black men are sexually savage" and think of it as yet another example of why they view the stereotype as true. Others would ignore the headline under the similar presumptions, and a few would still be lauding Gucci as a "hero".
I mean, all that above is obvious. There's plenty of news in just the past few months that show examples of stereotype threat and how people react.
But also like the post above, the note with the comment really crossed a line with me. That was exactly when it got less enjoyable. I guess he was trying to be funny, but it sure didn't do it for me. Maybe I'm a prude, but that was going too far.
BTW, I do not think being male and white had anything to do with it. Not all white men are raised to think they own the world. It is such unpleasant generalities based on gender and race that we have been trying to move away from...just switching stereotyping to another race and gender is not moving forward. Not to mention, being a crass self-righteous idiot is certainly not limited to whites or men! Hahaha
I am so very glad you called Gale out on his comments. I really felt for you when you were describing your frustration at the airport at such a trying time. Truthfully, I didn't think twice about "Diane" until I read your post. I am very much chastised in my heart for not being the kind of person the kind of person to even look for the other perspective. Thank you for that reminder.
You might wish to examine why you're so uncomfortable with the concept of white male privilege. Usually that happens because the truth is hitting too close to home.
To the poster of the "You are a joke" comment: I hope that you're very young, and therefore might still outgrow and someday look back and cringe at your profound lack of understanding about the realities of inequality in your society, your ridiculously juvenile "#TeamElan" mob mentality, and, most of all, your cruel, crass, lacking-in-all-human-empathy suggestion that the writer - who has i this very post shared a heartbreaking description of her reaction to her own brother's suicide - should "go kill [her]self."
You should really, truly be ashamed of yourself. Grow the fuck up.
I can't believe Jezebel published this as 'funny'. Surely, a feminist publication should be able to recognise male violence for what it is.
But actually haven't read his blind date tweet and knowing he works for a reality show, I am quite sure this is all his idea of a joke.
Here's another blog I saw yesterday, questioning the credibility of Mr Gale's rants, including the #TeamDiane #TeamElan one. And I've been seeing more and more of this type of questioning re his motives all day today.. hmmm.
http://melissawashere.wordpress.com/2013/11/29/why-isnt-anyone-questioning-the-diane-story/
Of course, I stopped reading this article when it got to "The whole thing has me reflecting on how white men are pretty much raised to believe they can say and do whatever they want." That's a rather inflammatory and incorrect statement. I work in film and television and Mr. Gale is indicative of the attitude of the industry at the producer, show runner, and star level. While speculating on how Twitter would have reacted differently if the man had been of a different race is not only valid but lead to some very true observations, the point was lost by trying to make Elan Gale somehow exemplify white males. I don't see much difference between how Gale reacted and some of Chris Brown's public fiascos. Being rich and powerful in an industry where you're surrounded solely by yes-men who refuse to criticize you, coupled with the narcissism both inherent in the industry and in Twitter itself, is what leads to stunts like this. A classist argument would be relevant than a racial one.
Kudos, though, on calling this dirtbag to task.
However the statement "all white men are pretty much raised to believe they can say and do whatever they want" is incorrect. If I had said, "all black men are pretty much raised to believe that being a gangster is cool and stealing is fun" that would be just as incorrect.
But your response got me thinking: The fact that he decided to tweet his frustration at this woman and then take the additional step of sending her drinks may have been because he is a white male, in that it didn't occur to him that he would get in trouble for it. That such action would be badly taken if it were done by anyone other than a white male just didn't occur to him. Okay, I can see that. But anyone could understand his frustration in such a situation and his annoyance at "Diane"...goodness knows I was annoyed at such an attitude.
However, the EAT my D part and the snotty, holier-than-thou attitude online afterward are PURE jerk, in line with internet jerks of whatever race/color/creed. I think this is just Gale's way of trying to become an internet celebrity. I read in the comments below that he had fabricated previous tweets before in order to get attention. What a jerkwad. If he wants to be famous, I hope he becomes the internet poster child for jerkiness.
By the way, wearing face masks on planes is a common practice- especially around the holidays when the flights are full of children.
Look, this guy's an ass, but please don't reduce him to a stereotype representing all white men. The lesson here is not about white men.
It was about a women who was acting like a child and a man who acted in a similar manner. That's it, that's all she wrote.
we have Senators ready to take down women's rights to chose, judges not will to let women proceed with equal pay for equal work and these "feminist" get up in arms over a stupid comment and you make it easy for those judges and senators to portray you as whiney women…because that's exactly how you behave.
Get off your soapbox, get off your high horse, stop defending this woman's behavior.
PS Great, great post, Los Angelista.
Rudeness isn't restricted to race either. Anyone who's ever worked in retail will know that rude and self-centered douche bags come in every gender, size, and color. Unfortunately, the workers who are being bullied, insulted, and mistreated are prohibited from reacting themselves. If only there were more people like Elan in the world who would stand up and say something. It's all behavorism and operant conditioning. People learn that if they yell, they get what they want, so the behavior is rewarded and reinforced. Now, if every time they yelled someone else gave some rude right back to them, the behavior would likely diminish or extinguish.
Finally, you are right that we don't know Diane's story. However, we don't need to. No story gives someone the right to behave like that and not face the consequences. And really, the consequences of being rude SHOULD be that others are rude back. Usually, when you are rude to people, they don't like you and are no longer required to be nice to you. That's kind of what rude is. Sometimes, they might even say something mean or tell you to shut up because, surprisingly, they don't like you.
So ya, Elan wasn't very classy about the way he went about telling this woman that she was rude and giving her a taste of her own medicine; But you know what? Neither was Diane.
Sigh. I was just about in tears when I got to the end of the Huffington Post piece about this whole incident - and then when they said that Elan was a Hero?!? For being out and out rude. Since when does returning rudeness with more (and worse) rudeness make anything better?
I'm glad I spotted this article to see that there is a little thought going on out here.
isnt this what youre doing to the Elan Gale?
2. I don't see myself as a "black female victim."
3. What exactly are these "desperate attempts at appearing strong?"
4. No, it's not just about rudeness, but thank you for sharing your opinion that this is just "whining about nothing."
5. I'm still waiting for an explanation of how exactly this supports service workers.
1. You can't guess what Elan would've said to you in your situation. Stop putting yourself in Diane's shoes, she clearly didn't explain herself even though she could've in writing notes back. She could've written back and said, "look dude, I'm fucking dying" or "I have cancer and this is my last Thanksgiving with my family" or whatever scenario you want to drum up for this lady. Simply, from her notes, she seemed very uptight and self-centered.
2. Stop throwing around phrases like "white male privilege." It doesn't apply here.
This entire article is pretty irritating because you seem to be personally offended about something that doesn't really apply to you. It almost appears that you want a personal apology from Elan for things that he could have potentially said to you.
While Elan may not have handled the situation in the most graceful way possible, it was meant to be humorous and slightly offensive. He was attempting to ruffle Diane's feathers even more, and yeah, that doesn't make him a good person, it makes him an asshole. But nonetheless, it came off comically because he was telling it like a story.
Yeah, not so much.
another possibility is maybe she/diane will come forward and we will find out that the mask was for an illness--then watch all the ones who are so indignant then turn on him. there is apparently a hierarchy of who "deserves" kindness and respect and who gets less. of course, women are always low on this scale as a whole, with men getting more as they get lighter. the ones who resist this notion are of course at the "deserves more" spectrum.
imagine how it would have gone down if instead of antagonizing her, he would have sent a note of support to the crew like "hey, you guys are amazing, thanks for being so patient with that lady in #7, you ROCK!!!! have a great holiday and thanks for your work" if you support the worker--show them, don't get indignant on behalf of them and make the situation more tense. what a shit-wit.
That's not true... at all.
What you should say and what you're permitted to say are very different things.
" What I did today was just point out something we all know: Be nice. It’s Thanksgiving. Be nice."
Elan did NOT set a civilized example of niceness to Diane. He gleefully stuck his nose right into an unpleasant situation and made it worse. Sounds like the flight attendants were handling it. If Elan REALLY wanted to show his sympathy and solidarity with the flight attendants, he would have quietly told them he appreciated their efforts to deal with Diane and tipped them all $100+ each.
Hear me out. Please. I know you're prepared to assume what I will say, and are already thinking about a rebuttal before I can make a case - but I'm requesting you give my thoughts a chance.
Assigning characteristics to people on the basis of race / gender is plainly wrong. That's stereotyping. We as a society recognize that it's not OK to assume a person has specific behaviors & attitudes because they are a woman, or a minority.
But it seems totally fine to create a stereotype of white males. We're privileged. Racist. Sexist. (etc.) I can't say I personally would have done what Elan did. It seemed excessive and self-centered.
I understand the anger at how Elan turned one woman's meltdown into an internet meme. I wouldn't want someone live-tweeting my every misstep. But I also don't agree with Los Angelista's eagerness to assign Elan's personal actions to a general denouncement of white males. Why not also say that all women are like Diane, if generalizations are the order of the day? What's the difference. Both Elan and Diane seem like people I wouldn't want to sit near on a plane. Why does Elan represent a stereotype, while Diane does not?
In summary: if stereotypes are not OK - why is it OK to make an exception when it's a chance to pin boorish behavior on a white guy? Elan was one dude, not the representative of all white men.
Come on man, if ANYBODY had done this regardless of the ethnicity of either party, they would have been treated the same way. Bad behavior is bad behavior, and most of us love it when people are called out on acting badly. Regardless of the races involved. It's people like you that keep racism alive -- by constantly framing EVERY INTERACTION AROUND RACE. And you defend the bad behavior of whichever race or gender you believe is downtrodden. Until ALL of us begin to look at every interaction as a human one, instead of focusing on the *possible* racial implications, racism will be alive and well because that little bit of racial paranoia will always be planted in the back of our minds (or in you case -- firmly entrenched in the front of you mind).
Look up secular humanism. Study it and understand it. Stop perpetuating racial hatred -- don't you realize your brand of racial interpretation is no different than a Klansman's? Oh well, I guess I'm speaking to a deaf ears. Your bigotry is so ingrained that you will never see anything clearly.. Hopefully your children don't inherit your ignorance.
Cheers and happy holidays!
If a white person politely asks a group of black people to be quiet in a movie theater, is that a racial encounter? Race is there, it can't be avoided a fact, but common decency shouldn't have to be twisted up in your skewed view of good or bad behavior which should have no racial aspect. It's called humanism -- look it up.l
Hear me out. Please. I know you're prepared to assume what I will say, and are already thinking about a rebuttal before I can make a case - but I'm requesting you give my thoughts a chance.
Assigning characteristics to people on the basis of race / gender is plainly wrong. That's stereotyping. We as a society recognize that it's not OK to assume a person has specific behaviors & attitudes because they are a woman, or a minority.
But it seems totally fine to create a stereotype of white males. We're privileged. Racist. Sexist. (etc.) I can't say I personally would have done what Elan did. It seemed excessive and self-centered.
I understand the anger at how Elan turned one woman's meltdown into an internet meme. I wouldn't want someone live-tweeting my every misstep. But I also don't agree with Los Angelista's eagerness to assign Elan's personal actions to a general denouncement of white males. Why not also say that all women are like Diane, if generalizations are the order of the day? What's the difference. Both Elan and Diane seem like people I wouldn't want to sit near on a plane. Why does Elan represent a stereotype, while Diane does not?
In summary: if stereotypes are not OK - why is it OK to make an exception when it's a chance to pin boorish behavior on a white guy? Elan was one dude, not the representative of all white men.
This is from a few months ago: http://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/2013/June/13-crt-739.html
And what is the proportion of white folks who get stopped by police after purchasing an expensive item at Barney's to the black folks who get stopped, do you think? http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/black-barneys-shopper-accused-buying-2g-purse-article-1.1494855
This.
I'll never read anything by you again, and I'm seriously questioning buzzfeed after running a version of your diatribe.
Not that I expect anyone on the internet to understand what that means.
However, consider his most likely/predominant intent. He was objecting to this woman's behavior.
Do you really think he would have said anything at all to her, or anything like this to any woman at all, if not for her alleged behavior and the utter lack of self-awareness thereof? If he had said "kiss my ass" instead, you wouldn't be so convinced that intentional sexism was such a part of this?
This is not blaming the victim, either. If there is/are any victim(s) here, it's the people who were subjected to this woman's behavior. She is the one who initiated the entire fiasco.
I am 100% against sexism (and racism, homophobia, etc.). However, while I do realize that the speaker and/or his or her intent do(es) not dictate others' reactions, some people assume/read into things a bit too much and I think that's what you're doing here.
All that said, we don't even know for sure that any of this happened. I'd agree that he went overboard, even aside from choice of words, but people who do behave in such fashion indeed deserve to be called on it. The more calmly done and on-point the better, but if this guy's career choices are any indication, I doubt we can expect such sufficiently prudent judgment from a person who has subjected society to the likes of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.
See how weird you made this...
And to the larger point: This was all a hoax. http://www.salon.com/2013/12/03/rude_airline_passenger_diane_in_7a_was_a_hoax/
The fabricated "Diane" behaved badly. The fact that so many were willing to jump on the bandwagon to support absolutely unsupportable behavior by this Elan guy is really disturbing. Boy -- the Internet just loves a witch hunt!
Secondly it is just as racist to blame someone's actions on "white privilege" as it it is to blame someone for a crime because they are black or hispanic. How about we just chalk it up to the fact that he is an a**hole and leave it at that?
Now who is the bigger a**hole, someone who snaps at everyone around them because they might have personal problems that they have not dealt with properly, or someone who takes it too far being rude to someone who is abusing airline workers who have to stay polite or risk losing their jobs?
Did he take it too far? Absolutely. Did she deserve to be treated poorly? Definitely.
Is your solution to hug it out with a person who is being a complete cow? Because in the real world no one cars about your reasons in a passing moment, only your actions. Let me ask you this, what if it was Gucci Mane who was being rude to airline personnel? What if a middle aged lady told him off, would you take exception to it then? No? Well guess what that's sexist.
What if Elan had told a black man off for being rude? Would you take exception to it then? No? Well that my friend is racist. See this card can be played both ways but Elan is not allowed to because of his "white privilege."
Give your head a shake you make me sick.
Will you stop bring up "if Diane looked like Gucci or the Rock" !!! If Daine looked like the Rock she would've never gotten away (or possibly even known she'd get away) with slapping a fellow passenger.
Thanks for an interesting lens of this situation.
http://www.news.com.au/technology/online/hoaxes-fooled-the-internet-in-2013/story-fnjwmwrh-1226779628947