Thoughtfulness = Jameil

I'm sitting here trying to doze off and as I'm mentally rewinding my day, I realized that I must share with you all a total act of kindness shown to me by one of my favorite bloggers, Jameil over at I Don't Know Why I Liked Ripped Paper .

I hadn't checked my mail in a couple of days and finally got around to opening the mailbox this afternoon. That's when I discovered that Jameil mailed me a little note congratulating me on completing the Los Angeles Marathon AND she sent me a Starbucks gift card as a little present!

Beyond the fact that I can now indulge my chai habit even MORE, I was really touched by how thoughtful Jameil was. There have been folks I've considered friends who have not once called to see how the race went, but here's someone who has NEVER EVEN MET ME, and she's congratulating me and sending me presents!!! Love it!

There is so much negativity all around. Sometimes it feels like I'm being assaulted by all the pessimism, discontent, dissatisfaction with life and bitterness swirling through the miasma of our existence. But there, in a parallel universe, lies the kindness and thoughtfulness of people like Jameil. She really sets such a good example... and you had best believe I'll be taking my behind to Starbucks in the morning!

Because Sometimes Drooling Is A Good Thing...

I know, it's just 100% wrong that I see this picture and want to lick my laptop screen. The only thing keeping me from doing so is I that I'm worried I might burn my tongue because the screen is so hot.

Yeah, yeah, I shouldn't even say such things in my head, let alone type them. I feel like I'm in need of a lecture on the Seven Deadly Sins. It's just that, wow, is homie-love-affair fine or what???

Seriously, why oh why did I wash my hand after meeting Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom?

Yes, I know all his names by heart, but, um, that's ONLY because I'm a visual learner with a quirky memory and I saw them written down somewhere. Really. I pinky swear that's not true, if only because I'm too dang old to write his name over and over on the cover of my notebook.

I should get a t-shirt made with this picture on it, saying, "He said I'm gorgeous. How ya like me now???"

Yowzer... I might just have to get my Legolas doll down off the shelf. HOT!!!

My Los Angeles Marathon Experience

Wow, that was fun.

Yeah, I said fun. Three days after I crossed the finish line of the 24th Los Angeles Marathon, that's the word that still comes to mind when I think about the whole experience. Yes, my legs are a still a little sore and it hurts a teeny bit to walk down steps or down the hill I live on, but I don't regret the experience at all. Running my first marathon was amazing, unreal, tough, grueling... and sooo much fun.

Think of it this way: Only in marathons do you get to run in the middle of the street with people dressed up as Darth Vader and carrying light sabers, folks wearing Spiderman suits, blue afro wigs, and, ahem, running in a testicle suit.

Seriously, run down the street dressed in that testicle suit on any other day and people will not cheer for you. They'll dial 911 instead.

While I've been relaxing over the past couple of days, I've been trying to come up with some way of summing up the entire experience. There's just too much that happened! I could start with the night before the race and tell you how I, the Queen of Insomnia, took some Tylenol PM. That "PM" means it's supposed to put you to sleep. Pfft! Two hours after I took that stuff, I was STILL awake!

I could tell you about how before every long run, I always eat some toast with peanut butter and have a cup of Earl Grey tea, and so I did the same thing on Monday. Or I could share how while waiting for the race to start, I watched my hands shake like crazy because I was feeling so nervous.

Hmm... maybe marathon observations in list form:

1) The Start: Talk about a crazy adrenaline rush!!! I totally cheered as we ran over the starting line... and there, standing on a platform was the Mayor of Los Angeles, Antonio Villaraigosa. He looked positively bewildered and like he was thinking, "Look at these ca-razy people! How many of them voted for me? How many could I get to vote for me if I run for governor?"

2) Crackberry: Because I'm such a tech nerd and I just got a new Blackberry, I decided to do race updates on Twitter and Facebook. I'd also planned to take a picture at every mile marker, but, uh, it's kinda hard to run and use a Blackberry at the same time, so there were definitely some gaps where there were no pics.

3) Spectators: Some of them yell, "Hey, you wanna cigarette?" and some of them have orange slices and cups of water, but they are all cheering! They're out there with signs and posters, chillaxing in their lawn chairs, and showing the wonderful diversity that exists in Los Angeles.

4) My kids: The best spectators were my family and friends that came out... especially my little boys. The look on my son's faces when they saw me between mile 19 and 20 is one I'll never forget. They were in awe! Oh, and my five year-old tried to jack my pretzels that I had pinned to my running belt. He actually started running alongside me, trying to snatch them. Post race, they kept hugging me and telling me how proud they were of me. I feel like such a good role model for them!

5) Death: Without fail, on long training runs, I'm fine for the first dozen miles or so. Then I start to not feel so fabulous at around mile 14 or 15. I start wondering why the heck I'm doing this to myself. I start to want to just go sit down on the curb for a second and rest. This feeling only lasts for a couple of miles, and I know this so that's why I told my family to come see me after mile 17. That way, I couldn't let them down and not show up.

6) Running Buddy: My running buddy, Ollie, who I've trained with for most of the past year, was amazing. When I was feeling like I was going to die, he didn't ditch me just because he was feeling better. We stuck together and crossed the finish line together. Here we are at around mile 20:

I smiled a lot during the race. I couldn't help it, I was so happy to be accomplishing something so amazing.

7) Weather: I'm SO grateful that the weather stars aligned because all last week I was stressing out about the possibility of heat. (Last year was 100 degrees on Memorial Day.) However, we had a super deep marine layer (that means fog) so all the sun and hot weather I was terrified of didn't materialize until I was maybe at mile 18 or 19.

8) Students Run LA: It was so fun to run the race with almost 4,000 high school students! They were amazing and so full of energy. It got me thinking that in another 10 years when my kids are in high school, maybe we can all run a marathon together...

9) Water: Lots of volunteers stand along the course with cups of water and those are great for drinking and for dumping over yourself to cool things down when the sun's starting to feel super hot. But, it wasn't till I'd dumped maybe four cups of water over myself and was totally wet that I remembered my shirt was white... oh well.

10) The LA Leggers: Are hands down, the best running club in Los Angeles. If you want to run a marathon and you live in LA, come train with them. Everybody is so encouraging and they know their stuff. I'd never run more than three miles before last August when I started training with the Leggers... plus they had special support stations along the marathon route just for us and it was SO good to see their friendly faces!

The Finish: After mile 20, your mind starts thinking, "I've got this. Only six miles left... that's nothing!"

Yeah, six miles actually turns into nothing when you've already run 20 of them. I could see Downtown ahead of me, and with every step those skyscrapers were getting closer.

The finish was challenging because it was an uphill grade going into downtown. Because we've been training in Santa Monica and Venice, it helped to think stuff like, "We just crossed out of Venice and we're in Santa Monica now. We're almost to the Ferris Wheel!" Also, I was very grateful I've been running in my super hilly neighborhood. That helped a lot.

Around mile 23, I started feeling really emotional, and had to wipe tears off my cheeks. I felt so good, and so proud of myself... this was a really serious goal and I was thisclose to achieving it! I also kept thinking of my kids waiting at the finish and how happy I was to be able to prove to them that you really can do anything if you set your mind to it.

And my gawd, when we turned off Olympic Blvd. and onto Flower Street and could see the 26 mile marker ahead, and then beyond that, the finish, I was SO happy. Both sides of the street were packed with people behind barriers who were screaming like crazy, ringing cowbells... OMG IT WAS NUTS!!!!!

The last .2 miles after crossing the 26 mile mark was totally surreal. And then I was over the finish line, I was giving Ollie high fives and hugs, and somebody was putting a medal over my head!

I walked three more blocks, found my family, got a million hugs from my kids, my friend Maisha took them home with her, my husband too me home, and I sat in a big tub of ice water for awhile! Then I took a hot shower and, two hours post-race, I was chilling on the couch with my medal!

Yeah, it's kind of heavy for an everyday necklace, but I had to run 26.2 miles to get it, so I'm not taking it off anytime soon.

Since then, I've been taking it easy, sleeping, taking slow walks around the neighborhood, stretching... and thinking about my next marathon. Yes, I want to do another one. I'm not sure which one or when it's going to be, but I'm going to do another one for sure!

I do have to say thank you to all you sweet people who thought of me and wished me well. It really means a lot... and you were another reason I kept going. I couldn't very well come back to this blog and say, "Sorry people, I just decided to quit at mile 17 because I was tired!" could I?

And what about you? Really, if I can run a marathon, you can do one, too. Think about it... the idea is not that crazy. Besides, you might surprise yourself and have a LOT of fun along the way!

Marathon Day!!!

Yes, it's that day, FINALLY! I'm off to run the LA Marathon!!!

I may be updating my Twitter feed during the race. I'm not sure yet. But, check back in a few hours for a full debriefing of the entire race!

YAY!

Santa Barbara Kills Stress

I'm sitting here wishing I was back in Santa Barbara and I'm wondering why I don't drive up there more often than I do. It's only about 80 miles away, and it happens to be one of my favorite places because it's breathtakingly beautiful and seriously relaxing. And I have needed help relaxing a LOT lately. If you put my stress level as of late on a scale with 1 being not stressed and 10 being I think my head may explode because I'm so stressed, well, I've easily been at a 9 or 10 over the past few days.

Why so stressed out?

Eh, I'd rather not get into it. Even describing all the drama makes my right eyelid twitch uncontrollably. But I was really feeling the need to step back so I could see the whole picture, so since state testing is over, I pulled my kids out of school and drove up the coast.

A few bits of low clouds and morning fog remained as we drove north up the 101 Freeway. I love the views just north of Ventura where you see mountains on one side and the Pacific Ocean on the other. It's absolutely gorgeous:


Thirty minutes later when we stopped off at Butterfly Beach in Montecito, just south of Santa Barbara, most of the clouds had burned away and the sky was a gorgeous blue. The beach was almost completely deserted and even though it was incredibly windy and a bit chilly, It was so peaceful to just walk in the water and feel the waves crashing across my feet:

My kids collected sea shells and chased each other across the sand while I snapped pictures and thought about how there is so much uncertainty in this world. There's always uncertainty, sure, but it feels like more uncertainty than ever is going on. Yeah, nationally and internationally things are still in total turmoil. And on top of my own personal worries, in my own six degrees of separation, pretty much everybody I know is going through a challenging time in their lives: serious illness, relationship problems, marriages on the rocks, job turmoil, serious debts, deaths in the family, unplanned pregnancy, mental illness, loneliness, weight issues, depression and addiction issues.

You ever meet people who are so bitter and angry at the world that you wonder what the heck happened to them? Of course you have. They're everywhere, and I don't want to be one of those people. I am increasingly convinced that the difference between the people who have overcome adversity and still live their lives no matter what and the people who go around totally negative, pessimistic and with their face twisted up into a grimace is the way they dealt with key challenges at critical points in their lives.

I don't want to be bitter and living on regrets. I don't want my children growing up with memories of their mommy seeming like she wasn't herself. You know?

So, after leaving Butterfly Beach, I headed a few minutes north to Santa Barbara and watched my five year-old do his thing at a skate park called Skater's Point:

He was the youngest skater there, and, quite frankly, his fearlessness inspires me. He has no voice inside him saying, "What are you thinking? You can't do it!" Nope, he's out there skating his butt off, believing in himself. And I know at his age I already did not believe in myself. I already had a lot of fears about life, and did not have even half the confidence he does. In some ways, I still don't, and I know that really hurts me in so many areas of my life.

But when I'm around such beauty, it's easy to forget that.


Alas, I'm home in Los Angeles, and all the things I didn't have to think about while I was getting away are still sitting on my doorstep. But it's nice to have a clearer head, a more balanced outlook, and a reminder that there is still beauty and goodness in this world. I should go back soon... it is only 80 miles away.

Butterfly Beach Is Sooo Pretty

I think someone should pay me to sit on the beach, don't you?
I mean, really, I could do a good job at it. Sigh, why did I have to come home last night?

If You Are a Californian, Have You Voted Yet?

If you haven't, please go vote on the propositions and all the other fun stuff on the ballot. Please. Pretty please. Here's a good rundown on all the info you need to vote. It took me like 30 seconds to vote on everything. That's shorter than the amount of time you will spend complaining if something you don't like passes.

Besides, it's Malcolm X's birthday, and he would've wanted you to vote. So if you won't do it for me, do it for him.

Toma Leche? My Chai Latte Habit Makes My Hair Healthier!

Last week I got invited to the perfect event at Estilo Salon sponsored by the Toma Leche campaign.

(That's "Got Milk" for all y'all who cannot habla espanol.)

Why was it so perfect? No, no, Depeche Mode was not there, but my fellow blogger friend Sundry from Any Given Sundry came to hang out with me instead! We had free manicures, free hair consultations with celebrity stylist Roberto Ramos, free snacks from that super cute cafe right up the street from the salon on Beverly Blvd, Milk , and free chai lattes for me, the #1 chai lover in Los Angeles!!!

Yeah, I know, I'm "pondering" being vegan, so I'll blame my leche indulgence on the latte mixologist they had on hand. He was seriously good looking good at making chai! I wanted to bring him home with me so he could, ahem, make chai on-demand for me!

OK, enough with the eye candy... if you're wondering what the connection between hair and milk is, the thinking is that we spend so much time agonizing over what products we're going to use on our hair, but not as much time thinking about the nutrition that goes in our bodies. Whether you're a milk drinker or not, it's probably better for your hair if you spend $20 on some healthy, nutritious, calcium-rich food instead of some random "magic" hair conditioner. And if you're a chai addict like me, you can feel a little better about yourself since your habit is making your hair healthier!

Indeed, the highlight of my evening was my free consultation with the Roberto Ramos. Roberto does the hair of movie stars Jessica Alba and Eva Mendes.

Embarrassing story: I ran into Eva in Manhattan like five years ago, and to my eternal shame, did the, "Do I know you??? No, really, I'm positive I know you from somewhere!" thing because she seemed sooo familiar but I couldn't place her. I think she thought I was some weirdo stalker...and I have never seen someone jump in a cab so fast to get away from me!

Anyway... I was super curious what Roberto would say regarding my hair because on makeover shows, anybody with even a HINT of curl in their hair gets taken for a ride on You Should Flatiron That Frizz-Fest Express.

It turns out Roberto is super nice, totally unpretentious, and he absolutely LOVED my hair. In fact, he said my hair is:
a) Beautiful
b)PERFECT and
c) I don't need to change anything about it and it's working for me!

I was a little shocked to hear all this praise -- and you know what? That's sad! I shouldn't be shocked to hear it. I shouldn't be expecting everybody to be thinking I need to straighten the heck outta my hair for it to look decent.

He only suggested that I fluff it and pull it out from my head a bit more so it would have more volume -- and he said I should get rid of all the reject hair products taking up space in my bathroom. Here we are together after he did a little re-fluffing and styling on me.

I came home all buzzed about getting some positive affirmation about my hair from the same guy who does super-hot Eva Mendes' hair... and then I read a comment on my post, My Natural Hair is not a Fashion Trend that made me feel a little sad. It said, in part:

"...but you are someone who has...what is it called in America? "Good" hair? And I think for someone with "good hair" it is much easier to go natural than someone with my hair which is....impossible to comb, impossibly coarse, and painfully thick. I don't think my hair would ever be considered "professional" or "beautiful" by any mainstream white culture, whereas your hair is unquestionably beautiful to anybody with eyes."

I can't run a comb through my hair either unless it's wet! My hair is super thick, (I can make a full-sized pencil disappear in it) and it's really textured. I don't like the word coarse when describing people's hair because that sounds like a bad thing. Sandpaper is coarse, you know? Besides, isn't all hair that's healthy "good"?

To cut to the chase, no, I don't have what is stupidly referred within the black community as "good hair". My hair likes the black side of my gene pool a LOT more than the Irish side. And that's absolutely 100% fine with me. I'm really over all the times I've been told dumb stuff like, "You're mixed? You prolly got robbed of having good hair cuz your mom's hair is so nappy."

So, am I supposed to think Roberto Ramos only liked my hair because it is not more highly textured? Do I think he would've said my mom's hair needed a lot of work and a flatiron if he'd sat her down in his chair?

Honestly, no, I don't think he did, and here's why: His encouraging me to stop trying to smush my hair down and to instead pull it off my head was sincere. It was him being a great stylist. A great stylist knows how to work with ANY texture of hair and make sure it looks good and healthy. And when he pulled my curls out off my head, it looked better!

Really, if more stylists acted like him, maybe I wouldn't be so wary of going to a salon as it is! And if you want to go natural, embrace your hair. Don't think it has to look like mine or anybody else's to be beautiful!

And now I'm off to somewhere to acquire some more chai because, um, I have a head of hair I need to keep looking good!

Is Light Skin What's REALLY "Precious"?

11 years ago I was wandering in a San Francisco bookstore and came across the novel, Push, by writer/poet Sapphire. For better or for worse, I buy books based on how interesting the back cover is and how well written the first paragraph seems to be.

The first sentence of Push really got me.

"I was left back when I was twelve because I had a baby for my fahver."

I took the book home and, due to it being less than 200 pages and a pretty gripping tale, I read it that evening. At the very least, every American should be ashamed of the very real depictions of the state of urban public education. But, sadly enough, not much in the main character Precious' life was a complete and total shocker for me. After all, when you've been a schoolteacher, have had the life experiences I have had, and have had conversations with friends where you ask them how they got a particular scar on their arm and they reply back that it's where their mom purposely burned them with a hot iron, well, not much makes my jaw drop anymore.

I subsequently lent the book to someone else who never returned it to me. I hadn't thought about it for awhile until a couple of years ago when I heard it was being made into a film. I'll admit, I wasn't too excited about this news. Although it's an important story, there aren't many movies made these days with black characters or about black people, so if I have a choice, I'd rather see movies that show non-dysfunctional black folks.

Yes, I'd like to see more well-rounded, conflict-laden stories about black people -- stories featuring genuine love between a black male and a black female lead. Coming of age stories with black children who are getting good grades and going to college would be nice... not stories about folks having babies by their daddy.

But, it is what it is and the film, now being called "Precious", had it's trailer released yesterday:



Clearly, the film, like the book, is going to be a very gripping and emotional cinematic experience. But something immediately stuck out to me that I can't stop thinking about.

Since it's been so long since I read the book, beyond Precious' appearance, I can't really remember what the characters in it physically looked like. But after I watched this trailer, I said to myself, wow, isn't it interesting that, according to what I just saw, the "normal" women in the film are lighter skinned black women (played by Paula Patton and Mariah Carey) and the messed up, psychotic, dysfunctional, abusive and overweight women are darker skinned.

I know, maybe I should've been marveling over how Mo'Nique's portrayal of Precious' mom is very well acted. Or how Mariah Carey seems to have stepped it up from the Glitter days, but this light-skin/dark-skin dynamic bothers me a LOT.

No, our First Lady, Michelle Obama, being darker than a paper bag doesn't "make up" for it. There is so much demonization and devaluation of darker black skin in our culture as it is, and, although I don't know who the casting director is, I wonder if the black director, Lee Daniels, contemplated how the film's casting decisions might reinforce colorism-based stereotypes.

Sure, this colorism (here's a good book if you want to read up on this) was begun by white people and hearkens back to the days of lighter skinned slaves being considered more valuable, more pleasing to the eye, and thus, more fit to serve in the house instead of the field. But the, "If you are light, you're alright. If you're brown, stick around, if you're black, stand back," attitude is continued by both whites and black people who have internalized the belief that light skin and "good" (straighter) hair is better -- which is why you have Precious herself in the trailer saying she wants a fine, light skinned boyfriend and wants to be a BET video girl.

A friend of mine says I'm being too hard on the movie, that Precious' story of being abused is a real story that needs to be told, and I should focus on that over anything else. And sure, maybe once the film is released, I'll see more well-rounded, positive, darker-skinned black folks -- and maybe there will be ONE character with light skin who'll turn out to not be a candidate for sainthood.

But I'm not holding my breath for that.

In Case You Didn't Know...

Five year-old son: Do you know the Achilles Heel is the most vulnerable part of a man's body?

My Friend: Really? Is that right?

Son (In his most matter of fact, intellectual voice): Yes, it is.

He paused thoughtfully before adding: Some people think it's the "nuts" but it's not. It's the Achilles heel.


I'm sharing this with you just so we're all clear it's the Achilles Heel, not the, er, other part of the anatomy.

Mafia Wives On TV

I hate to confess it but I'm sitting here watching Mafia Wives The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

One of the "housewives" is actually a divorcee and just got stood up by someone named Gucci something or another. She'd never met the man. They'd only had phone sex together.

Yes, good old fashioned, wholesome phone sex. Because that's always the best way to start any relationship.

Another of the wives just dropped some gems of wisdom by saying, "You don't want to become a mother and let yourself go."

And why is that?

"You should always be like your husband's girlfriend or else they're going to go out and get themselves a girlfriend."

Hmm... I guess that's why Eric Benet cheated on Halle Berry? Because she was just too motherish looking?

Besides, I don't know many mothers who've "let themselves go".

It's the 21st century and let me tell you the extremes the moms I know go to in order to stay in shape: They do yoga, run, go to Weight Watchers, do those insane Power 90x dvds and swear by Jillain Michaels. I know some who workout in the morning and again in the evening.

Why do they do all that? Because they want to keep up with their kids and they're too broke to buy new clothes in case the old ones stop fitting.

Seriously, I should turn this show off. These are not my housewives. I have yet to see them pick up a Lego or wield a mop. Plus, I don't know how many times I can take them saying, "Good old fashioned Italian family,". I'm not convinced there's anything "good" or "old-fashioned" with these folks. They may be Italian, but they're reminding me more of an episode of the Sopranos and less of my Italian ex aunt-in-law and her family.

Actually, I think there should be a Los Angeles version of this show featuring real women. Not women trying to flaunt their wealth, but real women.

Hmm... would I do it if they asked?

10 Things I'm Wondering

Oh, I wish I could be one of those bloggers that comes up with something interesting for you to read every single day.

But I'm not... and besides, I have too many things I'm wondering.

For example:

1) Don't you wish you could sit on the beach every day?

2) Is Swine Flu hype over?

3) Is Donald Trump gonna say, "You're Fired!" to Miss California, Carrie Prejean? Should he?

4) Why does Dick Cheney keep talking? Shouldn't he be off hunting somewhere?

5) Why are red light cameras, particularly the one on Olympic and Highland, so evil?

6) What face cream does Anderson Cooper use? (The man is ageless and that can't just be good genes.)

7) Who stole my Sunday edition of the Los Angeles Times off my porch?

8) If I had Cher's body, would I wear stuff like this?

9) Did you go see Star Trek yet?

10) If you were Elizabeth Edwards, would you have written the tell-all book and then gone on Oprah, the Today Show and then booked Larry King, too?

Happy Mother's Day

They bought me diamond earrings and now they're taking me to see Star Trek. I love my sons, and clearly, I wouldn't be a mother without them. I hope all of you mothers out there are having a marvelous day!

Los Angeles Unified Shadiness District

As I anticipated, paying $92K to retain a math coach who has been managing the school yearbook became a sticking point in last night's 3.5 hour School Site Council meeting regarding the school budget. So, this morning, I delivered a letter to the principal of my kid's school, which said, in part:

"Quorum was lost before the School Site Council could reach a decision regarding funding of coaching positions. There were many hours of debate regarding these positions, with, prior to quorum being lost, the majority of SSC members present requesting that our coaching staff be reduced and that those funds be used toward hiring additional teachers to reduce class size.

Given that many hours were spent debating this, and wanting to ensure that the will of all stakeholders, including parents from CEAC and ELAC, is equitably upheld and respected, I am not signing the budget. Although all parent members present agreed to make themselves available to review the budget on the morning of 5/8/2009 to ensure it reflected the will of the Council, this offer was rejected by you.

Therefore, I cannot in good faith endorse with confidence a budget that our council membership cannot as a whole review, and so will not be signing until such time as our membership can review it."

Wanting to fund this position when no attempt to show and prove it's worth is dishonest and unethical. Ultimately, I know this coach wouldn't be working on the yearbook if his manager, the principal, required him to do other things. Yet, this principal does not.

So, what will LAUSD do about it? I spoke with a very helpful guy named William at one of the local district budget offices, but does he have any real authority? Any real power to ensure that this shadiness and complete disregard for the will of school stakeholders goes down? I don't know. He said he'd inform other people and they would get back to me.

Here's what I do know: This would not be happening in a school in a wealthier area of the city. This would not be happening if the school was 95% high income instead of 95% low income. Make the majority of the school's faces white faces, it would not be going down like this. There would be no threatening to veto any budget that did not include this coaching position. There would Ineffective leadership would NOT be tolerated by parents or the community. And parents in my community want to speak up, but they are often worried and afraid that there will be retaliatory actions against them or their children, or they are made to feel they do not have enough education to know what they are talking about.

It's unethical. It's unconsciable. It's immoral. These are people's children and you want to spend this money on someone who putzes around working on a yearbook??? That's the ultimate in shadiness.

I was so upset after the meeting last night, both over the budget situation and personal attacks made against me by the principal at the end of the meeting.

My children could see that even this morning, I was upset... and so they encouraged me to think of ponies and rainbows. As we walked into the school this morning, they were chanting, "Ponies and rainbows, ponies and rainbows," and holding my hands.

I love my sons and I want the best for them and everybody else's kids. So I'm not giving up advocating for them all. I'll do my best to think positive about all this, and maybe something good will come of it. But really, does anything ever REALLY change in the Los Angeles Unified School Shadiness District?

Gro Good Garden Kit Winner

Two nights ago, someone stole our garden hose. Really, what kind of person does such a thing? Is there a special black market for garden hoses that I'm completely unaware of?

No worries, we'll get another hose, or find another way to water the lettuce, carrots and tomatoes we planted last Sunday in our Gro Good Garden.

In case you don't know what the Gro Good campaign is, Scotts Miracle-Gro, has teamed up Feeding America and Plant a Row for the Hungry in the hopes of donating over 2 million pounds of food to people who need it. Scotts will donate one million pounds, and those of us who take the Gro Good Garden Pledge are going to donate the other million!

As a part of the campaign, I pledge four things:
1) I pledge to garden for the greater good.
2 I will plant a little more than I need.
3) I will eat my home grown foods as often as I can.
4) I will donate my extra harvest to a local food bank.

And, Scotts offered to give away a Gro Good kit to one lucky Los Angelista reader, so that it's that much easier for someone else to jump right in to their gardening efforts. I used this randomizer site to generate a number, looked to see which qualifying entrant matched the numer of the person the number picked, and the winner is Anne from the blog Let It Shine!

Congratulations to Anne (please send me your contact info!) and thanks to everybody who entered and/or is planning to participate and donate food to those folks in our nation who really, really need it.

I promise to give you all updates on the garden as it grows over the coming weeks, and, as requested, I will include my little gardeners-in-training in them!

LAUSD: Where $92,000 Gets You A Math Coach Who Manages The Yearbook

You ever sit in a meeting where drinking battery acid starts to sound like a good choice? Or where you feel like you're a hobbit trapped in Mordor with the Eye of Sauron burning on you?

I felt that way this morning while sitting in a 2 1/2 hour long meeting for the Compensatory Education Advisory Committee at my children's school. That super long committee name translates into the parents who help oversee the way Title I funding is spent at a school site.

It's no secret there are massive budget cuts in the Los Angeles Unified School District. At one point we were going to lose the assistant principal, 4 or 5 teachers due to class size increases, math and literacy coaches, and custodial staff.

Now, thanks to President Obama's stimulus money, we were told we're still losing the teachers and the AP... but our math and literacy coaches get to stay on. My mind immediately wondered why these coaches get to stay on? If we have money to keep them, how come at least two teaching positions can't be saved instead?

So I asked the principal what hard, results driven data exists that shows what these coaches have accomplished this year. The answer was that she'd get the job description and that the committee couldn't use the stimulus money for saving teacher positions and she was going to exert her authority to veto any decisions to NOT keep the coaches.

INSTANT side-eye from yours truly! First of all, I think the principal says this stuff because she knows it's a 95% low-income school, there are a LOT of parents who are recent immigrants, and maybe folks will be intimidated and not ask questions. The thing is, I'm not intimidated and I'm gonna ask the tough questions. You want me to recommend to keep this position? Where's the data that shows me I should want to keep it???

Let me tell you what I saw yesterday afternoon when I walked on my children's LAUSD campus: The math coach was taking pictures! Why's he taking pictures? Oh, because he's in charge of the school yearbook! Does that have ANYTHING to do with math??? Nope. And this is the type of stuff this man does all the time!

Does it make any sense for a parent led committee to approve $92,000 in a budget to keep that coaching position over a classroom teacher? I don't think so!

I'm sure he's a nice man but he should be at the school making sure that more than 50% of the kids score proficient in math on the all important standardized tests. Instead, he's managing the yearbook, moving boxes and standing in the hallway chatting.

I mean, the teachers work directly with the kids, and having been a teacher, it's a big difference, especially in the upper grades, if you have 32 kids in a room instead of 24 or 25. Keeping an effective teacher in a lower class size instead of a coach that we have no performance data on should be a no brainer!

Seriously, if you have no data to back up a position's effectiveness, why should it be kept on???

If we have tough budget choices to make, I'm all for keeping the people who are working effectively with kids, not folks who are paper pushers and are, in my opinion, completely ineffective at their jobs. This kind of ineptness and inefficiency just can NOT be tolerated in schools.

Now I'm going BACK to the school for round two of this discussion via a School Site Council meeting and I'm not retreating from the demand that this principal show and prove. You want to keep this position, show me how it's effective. Prove it to me... or spend that $92K keeping an effective teacher!

My Natural Hair Is Not A Fashion Trend

Now that it's been almost a year since I cut my chemically straightened hair off, a few folks have asked me, "So, how long are you gonna do this natural thing?"

The question always surprises me because the underlying assumption is that the hair I have sprouting out of my head is just a fad, a temporary fashion thing.

If I was into fashion, I'd go back to straight hair. I mean, in a world where every makeover show gives the woman with textured hair a blowout and flat iron session, this look does not fit in. But I like it, and this is the hair I was born with, so why the questions?

It's honestly hard for me to believe that folks who know me and talk to me on a regular basis actually think I'm going to travel backwards to the land of chemical straighteners and flat iron dependency.

Guess what? It's not happening.

This is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the happiest I've ever been with my hair. I think it looks better and I spend less time and money on my hair than at any time in my adult life.

I'm not paying someone $80 to slather dangerous chemicals on my hair every couple of months. I'm not spending four hours in the salon while a stylist works on my wash, condition, blow dry and flat iron, all while simultaneously working on two or three other clients. I'm not constantly searching for some miracle hair potion that will keep my hair from looking like straw baking in the desert. I don't pray it won't rain so that the hours-long flat iron job doesn't get ruined, and I don't sit around bemoaning loads of split ends.

Instead of all that straight hair drama, I probably spend 10 minutes a day at the most on my hair, sometimes not even that much time. As far as cost? I don't believe natural hair products should cost $25 for a few ounces of product. Hello? Recession! I just can't pay that! -- So it helps to get really creative with products from Sally Beauty Supply, and to remember that my African ancestors weren't spending $50 on hair conditioner. Instead they used natural oils, shea butter and aloe vera gel.

The other thing that helps is to realize that nothing, no magic product, is going to make my hair flatter or more "appropriate". It's big hair! There's no way around that, and I feel sorry for the people who are so afraid of my hair, think it's unprofessional, or think it's not fly.

And there are definitely those in my life who could do without my afro! There are folks who I'm sure would be quick to point out that they've never technically said they hate my hair.... to which I'd reply that you don't have to say it explicitly for me to know. Sometimes what's not said, never hearing that it's beautiful or looks nice, conveys the same message.

Does that bother me? Not anymore. With all that's going on in the world, with all the pressures of being a black women in this country, at this point in my life, the last thing I'm going to be stressed about is anybody who still thinks that long, straight hair is what's best for me. Yes, straight hair looked pretty on me, but I think this looks better.

Do I have bad hair days? Sure, but that's OK because guess what? The hair along my hairline actually grew back this past year. Yeah, that thick hair I kinda remember from my childhood? It came back. If I start using chemicals on it again, it's gonna go away. Me no likey the balding look, mmkay?

The nice thing is that I see more and more black women on the streets of Los Angeles totally rocking their own, natural hair. And I almost always stop them and tell them their hair is beautiful. We need that encouragement to break away from the societal expectations that we're less than if we don't have long, straight hair.

We need that encouragement to get away from that fear that we're gonna be unloved, unwanted, laughed at or fired, all because we choose to wear the hair that God and genetics gave us. Sisters, take it from someone who was totally afraid to step away from chemicals and really had no idea what my hair would look like, if you walk away from them, it's gonna be alright... and if your boss doesn't like your hair, honey, that's what lawsuits are for!

So no, this is not a fashion statement for me. No, this is not a trendy thing I decided to do just because I live in LA and people are crazy out here. And no, this is not a midlife crisis. It's just me being happy with the way my real hair looks. Please get used to it because it's here to stay.

Starting A Gro Good Garden: You Can Do It, Too!

I have fond childhood memories of the huge neighborhood garden that was next door to my grandma's house. Instead of letting summertime weeds take over the vacant lot, everybody planted corn, collard greens and squash. And in my grandma's backyard, tomatoes grew by the dozen.

Since those days, gardening has become a tradition in my family. My mom isn't really a vegetable grower but I've spent countless hours with her planting flowers and fruit trees, and my sister talks about her own tomato vines like they're pets.

Out here in Los Angeles, I've been missing the gardening experience, and my kids are lacking the connection to the earth that gardening provides. One of the hard things about living in an apartment building is not having a yard to grow my own fruits and vegetables. And sad as it is, because of pollution from the oil wells that used to cover much of Los Angeles, if I grow my own veggies in the ground, they might not even be safe to eat.

But ever since the Obama's gave the go-ahead for a White House garden, I've been thinking that growing veggies in planter boxes is better than nothing. Thank goodness the folks from Scotts Miracle-Gro, the makers of the products that keep my house plants looking like a healthy jungle, reached out to me about their Gro Good campaign. They've teamed up Feeding America and Plant a Row for the Hungry in the hopes of donating over 2 million pounds of food to people who need it. Scotts will donate one million pounds, and guess who gets to donate the other one million?

That's right, you and me.

How could I not pledge to participate in this when I know I a) love gardening and b) know that the statistics are that 1 in 8 households in America experience hunger. And I'm sure those stats are from before the economy crashed and unemployment went through the roof, so I am seriously down with the Gro Good campaign.

By participating in the Gro Good campaign, I pledge four things:
1) I pledge to garden for the greater good.
2 I will plant a little more than I need.
3) I will eat my home grown foods as often as I can.
4) I will donate my extra harvest to a local food bank.

To start off, I got a little Gro Good kit from Scotts and only had to go to buy seeds and some dirt. My kids wanted to grow cantaloupes and watermelons, but I talked them into beginning with something a little easier: tomatoes, carrots and lettuce.

It wasn't hard to follow the directions on the seed packages, and in about 15 minutes yesterday afternoon, we had our boxes planted. My youngest son took the time to comment that the dirt didn't taste so good, "So I don't know why the plants like eating it!"

Why was my baby eating dirt? I honestly don't know. I swear, I really do feed the boy!

This morning he was a little disappointed that nothing had sprouted yet -- uh, this isn't Jack and the Beanstalk, son!

Yes, these city kids have a LOT to learn about gardening. Over the coming weeks, I'll update you with the progress of our little Gro Good Garden so you all can check out what's sprouting in our planter boxes, and what we can hopefully give away to a food bank.

Do you want to participate and make your own Gro Good Garden? To give you an extra push, I'm giving away a Gro Good kit to one lucky winner.

To enter, be a resident of the Continental U.S. and leave me a comment by 11:59 PM Thursday, May 7th, telling me what you'd like to grow in your garden. I'll give you an extra entry if you link to this post on your blog. You can earn another entry if you reference this on Twitter.

I'll pick one entry using a randomizer and announce the winner on Friday, May 8th!

In the meantime, whether you win the kit or not, I hope you sign up and take the pledge to grow a little something. As you can see from our small boxes, a "garden" doesn't have to be the vacant lot that existed in my grandma's yard! Just don't be like my kid and take to eating dirt, OK?

Recasting Grease

I just finished watching the last half hour of the movie, Grease, and, well, I have to say, the film annoys the heck out of me. I know it annoys me because of the lack of diversity in it.

Are there any black or Asian characters in it at all? And why the heck does the Latina girl have to be named "Cha Cha"? Come on! How stereotypical!

I know, people say Grease can't be diverse because that wouldn't be historically accurate. I don't care. If I wanted super historically accurate, I'd watch the History Channel.

I say since remakes are so in vogue these days, how about a remake of Grease, complete with a diverse cast?

You like that idea, don't you?

Alright, let's cast our film. Who's gonna play Sandy and who's gonna play Danny Zuko?

It's OK To Be Fat... If You're A Hamster

Meet Snips, the newest member of our family. Yeah, yeah, I know, the last hamster was also named Snips, but that one didn't even last 24 hours, so my five year-old declared that this one is Snips, too. (Trust me, there is NO arguing with a five year-old who has decided on a pet name.

My kids chose Snips because she was the fattest hamster at the pet store. They figured she was so big and healthy that there was no way she could die. I don't know about that, but for real, Snips is so fat, she's the size of 2 1/2 maybe 3 normal hamsters.

I'm looking at her right now and she is hunched over her food dish, nibbling away. I have yet to see her do anything other than eat, sleep and gnaw on the bars of her cage... before she goes back to eat some more. I feel like I should have "Baby Got Back" playing in her cage because she is SO fat.

You know, I think I'm a little jealous of Snips.

Not that I would like to be gnawing on the bars of a cage necessarily, but the way she is devouring everything in her food bowl, she is clearly free from all the insane angst about her weight that we Los Angeles ladies have. And I say Los Angeles specifically because when I go back to the Midwest, over half the population is fatter than me and looking just fine about it.

But in this town? I'm usually the fattest person in the room. I'm a plus-size the minute I drive west of Vermont Avenue and if I go west of La Brea, I'm definitely morbidly obese.

Snips, does have an exercise wheel in her cage, but not because she went to the store and bought it. I put it there, and I have yet to see her big behind get on it. I'm sure she feels absolutely zero angst over not working out since moving into her new digs.

Me? Let two days go buy without me working out and I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown. I'll start thinking I'm going to gain 50 pounds in a week.

I also highly doubt Snips is ever going to suffer through a Jillian Michael's DVD with me. I'll probably hear her nibbling on her food the next time I'm toiling through yet another round of backwards lunges.

Yeah, lucky her, she has no mirror in her cage so she never has to have that moment of shock where she says to herself, "Uh, does my butt REALLY look like that despite all the squats and lunges?"

Snips also doesn't ever have to step on the scale and pray that it's broken. And she eats every morsel of food all without writing her intake down in a food journal. No tracking calories, fiber, protein or sodium intake for Snips! No longing for cheesecake while saying to herself, "That's the caloric equivalent of a Big Mac, so I can't eat that."

I know, you're thinking, "Los Angelista, you're black! Isn't it supposed to culturally alright for black women to be, uh, bigger?"

Remember where I said I live? Los Angeles. The "you can have a little more bounce to your ounce because you're black" rules do not apply here, especially if you live anywhere near Hollywood.

Oh, wait, you weren't thinking that? You're thinking I'm totally insane for being jealous of a fat hamster? A hamster that may or may not be alive in this house at this time next week?

OK, I will plead temporary insanity, and with that, I'm gonna go run my three miles. I'm sure Snips will eat the entire time I'm gone.